Friends...

The definition of friend is: one attached by another by affection and esteem. I am sure lots of people have friends and some may even have LOTS of them. Growing up I had friends, really good friends and then they or we moved away. This happened all through out my childhood!! It was tough at times not to have friends...but I am truly truly blessed with the ones I have now!!

Why am I bringing this up? Well to be honest I have to say that something is really bothering me. It is breaking my heart and my eyes have tears quite often. It is about my son..our son who is almost 5000 miles away from us. He is loosing his friends..he sees other kids get their mommies and daddies and he wants them too. When I found this out it put a huge huge ache in my heart (and please don't tell me that God can heal it or whatever please, because I know and my ache is better, but still there). I have learned many things from God during this adoption process, but the pain in my heart just hurts. When I see our kids do something I want our other little boy to be in on it too. Thanksgiving, setting up our Christmas tree, playing in the snow, and so many many other things like that.

The thing that goes through my mind is, I am a true believer in Christ an adopted child of God! Then why oh why is this verse so difficult to live? We live by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV) This verse should be easy to do now...but I sometimes have much trouble!! I know and have faith that God is holding my son in His arms right now! I know that God can and is my son's friend and that God is the best friend my son will ever have!! God will not leave my son ever! I can not see this, yet I sure believe it!! I have faith that it is true. And I am so very thankful that God loves my son unconditionally like me! God knows what a sweet boy our son is! He created our son, no other little boy is like him..

One day our son will have friends, hopefully a very close friend. I can not wait for the day that my son brings friends home! I can't wait for the day he calls Jovan friend! Kristina and Jovan tell each other that they are friends..I know they have room for more friends in their life..especially a new brother.

Up Up and Away...

This is not the actual picture of our plane or runway..but you get the idea. We are very soon (well if after the country's winter break in January) we are going to go up up and away to get our son!!! Praise God! Right now there is a new fundraiser going on to raise our son's expenses needed to come home. He is needing a medical exam, visa and plane ticket. Which is roughly $1500.00. You can see his fundraiser on my friends blog that is doing the fundraiser right here.

Right now I am looking into fundraising ideas and wish I had some cool electronic gadgets to give away, but right now I don't...so I am just leaving it open to whatever God does and however people are led. If anyone lives close enough I would clean bathrooms for a donation! :) For those who know me you know that the bathroom is my most favorite room to clean! :) (Really and truly!!) Have to have a little humor now..peace and joy are dancing in my heart because we are going to complete this adoption and close this journey and get our son!!!

We still have our fundraiser with Cardsforanymoment going on. The cards are so cute and I am

going to give both kids one of these when we leave! Isn't it cute?

I forgot to mention to continue to pray for us as we get ready to fly up up and away! There have been many many interesting and disheartening things that have happened to us along this journey. And MANY lessons I have learned from God while I have waited.. But, if I believe that God is in control and his timing is perfect then this LONG wait was HIS plan, not mine!! Soon, God willing we will be going up up and away.

A Journey...

When you decide to make a life change, do you prepare yourself a lot of information or do you just jump right in? Hum... I do both. When we first started out looking and pursuing adoption I read and studied myself to death!!!! Oh my, I was constantly filling myself with details and thinking I was doing so much better knowing it all! Yeah right, God showed me that I really only needed to trust him with the details because all of that research I did was for a DIFFERENT country then the one we adopted from!! So, I did some research on the EE (Eastern Europe) country we were adopting from. It is after all a part of my heritage as much as the previous country I studied about. We followed God's lead...

Then to do all the preparing, packing, and exercise a large amount of faith in patiently waiting. My hubby had never traveled out if the country, I had several years prior. Although I was not very successful... I was so very ill with nerves and got sick in flight!! But I was however successful in changing planes!! I was happy about that!

Well the day came...nerves were high and so was the feeling of being ill!! We had a dear wonderful friend bring us to the airport!! Also the one who listened to me daily while I tried to wait patiently! She made me eat a banana, and I felt so much better!!! Then we were off and still a wee bit nervous.

Our plane ride was fine although a little bit cramped for my hubby. (We now spend the extra dollars for the few more inches..makes a huge difference for my much taller then me husband!) Changed planes and landed at our destination country. Got through customs and such and went to look for our driver. Um...not one person with a sign for us. A wee bit of panic set in when I realized I did NOT have the sheet with our in country info contacts! And all of that info was on our computer...unattainable at that time.

But we all know that God provides don't we? I hope so! There was a couple that we started talking to at the airport one stop from our destination country. They were traveling back for their summer vacation, as now they live abroad. We shared with them about our adoption journey and they shared with us about the country. Anyway, after we did not see anyone for us and the airport was thinning out hubby and I were praying so hard for an answer of what to do... Our new "friends" came over to check on us, they were concerned about us. A friend of theirs met them at the airport that they were not expecting...(imagine that) Turns out he was a taxi driver! So after praying some more we decided to do as he suggested and head to a hotel to sort things out and get on our computer. We were able to contact our wonderful facilitator she was able to help us out. While we waited we went looking for a wee bite to eat. We walked all the way around the hotel with not a morsel of food to be found. Headed back to our room and tried to order room service. Had a pizza and cokes brought up. It was different then our pizza so we ate what we liked and it helped a lot.

Finally we were tucked into our apartment and slept for quite some time!! We arrived a whole day early to get over jet lag and get settled. Now this is funny...we walked out of our apartment courtyard all ready to explore, and going past the gate freaked us out!! Okay maybe me more then hubby, and he agreed to turn around and go back into the apartment!! After searching the internet for a map of some sort we ventured back out again. We walked up and down the street in front of our apartment each way as far as it would go. What fun and the hours we were gone oh my!! I even let my hubby go down some side streets, we saw so much and even an open market! What fun!! We then stopped at the corner grocery and bought a few things. It was like a treasure hunt so fun and exciting!! (at least it was for me!)

Our adoption journey had begun! Next day we met our beautiful little girl that God had picked out especially for us!! And what a journey it had been so far!

Why am I telling all of this story and maybe not very interesting to you? There is a moral and an ending to this I promise! The moral of the story is NOT to panic, NOT to overly obsess about planning your adoption journey! Go through it one moment at a time and immerse yourself in your surroundings! Don't worry about what you know because it might not be that way! Look all around at the people, buildings, animals, and take in the smells and sounds too! You are going to a foreign country and YOU are the one who is different! Chances are the country is a LOT different then what you used to. Food, taxi rides, beds and most importantly the traditions and customs will be different! When we were in country I always tried to be very courteous and follow others lead the way!! In America we are such a now society!! (I can say that because that is how I am sometimes too) We want everything our way, our time, and even the quickest way possible! I won't mention how we all need to rely on God and his timing because we all know that too! :)

Just remember to enjoy your adoption journey (or any journey God chooses to take you on) and praise God that he took you on it! Rejoice that you are getting a HUGE gift from God! He will never leave or forsake you!! Psalms 38:21 O LORD, do not forsake me; be not far from me O my God. In a different country or even in your own backyard! Thank you God!!

Thank You...

I just want to say thank you for all of the comments and prayers about our adoption and some things that have happened!! For several days I really struggled with being sad...just kind of like a worn out feeling. Today I was able to rise above it..thanks to God, my sister and my friend Peanut Butter/Jelly!! :) A renewed joy and such a peace!! It just so wonderful...knowing we just keep moving forward every step of the way seeking God's wisdom and direction.

Have you ever felt like you really needed to do something and knew it had to be done to the furthest finality? That is just how it is with me! Some people might not understand...but it is clear to me to go on! And I am so glad, so very glad that I have stayed to course during this journey!!! Right now I am calm and peaceful and so thankful for my family and friends! Thank you for your continued prayers for us and our son!!

Feelings...

Do you ever feel like sometimes you are not heard...no matter how hard you try? And sometimes trying to explain things makes it worse. And even though you are honest and truthful to your very core, you are just not believed? How does that make you feel? For me it makes me feel very sad, angry, frustrated, whithered and just plain want to quit.

It has taken a lot of faith and really trusting God to get us as far as we have in this adoption. Each of our children's adoptions have had their own trials, obstacles and difficulties, but none as hard as this one. I have learned more about trusting and waiting upon God than ever before. That's how He works isn't it? - through our pains and sufferings we learn obedience, trust and worship. In Hebrews the Bible talks about how Jesus learned obedience. Hebrew 5:8 Although he was the Son, he learned obedience through what he suffered.

The adoption site we were working with literally turned on us. Instead of encouraging us on we received reprimands that we weren't raising money fast enough, that I was not following their directions and even worse that we were standing in the way of this little boy receiving parents.

It hurts like crazy to be misunderstood and worse yet to be falsely accused! I wanted to give up! Not give my up my heart's desire for our son, but give up the struggles and battles we keep encountering in reaching him! How deep can a heart be broken? I've learned the depths of pain in a new way.

But who is God? He is alive and well! He sees when we are crushed! He hears our heart's cry! He's not indifferent to injustice! He rises up to our defense! That is the almighty God my family and I worship! And he is tenderhearted and with a sense of humor!

I was filled with joy and laughter with what God showed me. So in the very midst of my despair, I got my Bible out and found a couple of passages in Isaiah. They just jumped out at me! I am so thankful that God showed me these passages!

Chapter 43:5 Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you; I will say to the north, Give up, and to the south, Do not withhold; bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth.

Chapter 41:11-13 Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall parish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I will help you".

He has made us stronger so we can continue to do God's will no matter what! I will hold out my right hand and join it with my heavenly Father!

So now this goes back to feelings... so many! But I will tell you that we are not giving up! We are climbing the huge mountain ahead of us. Being strong and trusting God in all of this. He led us to bring this boy home where he belongs and God will help us no matter what the opposition is!

There will be one less orphan as soon and I hope all you faithful readers and the heavenly hosts above rejoice with us! Please join with us and pray for God to continue working through us. I cling to this powerful verse in Romans 8:31 (NIV) If God is for us then WHO could be against us? That to me means NO ONE can be...

Hebrews 11:1...

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (RSV)

That's all I have to say...just pray...

Winners...

I am finally posting the winners/gift recipients of our son's birthday party. Thank you so much everyone for being a part in bringing our son home!!! It was an emotional birthday...tears because he wasn't here for it, and joy that so many people have helped us bring us this far! And a peaceful feeling that we know God is in control of our journey and we trust Him!!!

So here goes..Angie C will be receiving the book

Jeannette W will be receiving the first sign

Julia N will be receiving the second sign

Jennifer R will be receiving the third sign

(You will be receiving an email letting you know as well!) :)

We are so thrilled to death that we are getting closer to our end goal!! A HUGE blessing from God!!!! Can't wait!! Makes my heart hurts a lot...waiting, not so patiently sometimes..but waiting. I have put a few clothes in his dresser..gotten his winter coat and boots ready..(now remember I thought Jovan was going to be the same size and the clothes were originally going to be his.) So our second son is getting hand me downs from his older brother! So sweet! :) I have only purchased swim trunks..they were marked down to a very low price.. :)

Well, we are in for some snow this weekend and I better get some things ready. Surprise my hubby and get the shovels and salt in their respected places and all set to GO!! :)

Good Morning...

Today we (the kids) will pick the names of the winners in our birthday give-away drawing. There is still time to give if you want. They will draw names when they get home from school. The picture above was taken this morning during breakfast..I love the way God gives us brand new days fresh and new. And so many beautiful colors too!! I have linked the give-away prizes here. It brings you to my friend who made the signs and giving away a great book!! :)

Thank you very much for all who donated to bring our son home! It means so much to me to see how God gives us wonderful people in our lives and on this journey! The road has been long, but we believe in God's timing! It is perfect...and we trust and have faith and hope to the end! Enjoy your day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it!

Please Pray...

There has been 2 geological shifts in the last two days where our son is. It is about 70 miles away, but still felt where he is. He is okay, but there is a family traveling to adopt their son and he is located much closer. You can read about their journey here. Pray for them as they will be traveling soon. Please keep the country and specifically the areas hardest hit and for the loss that people have experienced!!

The Joy of the Lord...

The joy of the Lord is my strength! I believe that! During this adoption process many things have happened. Some really affected my in a very hurtful way. Nearly knocking me to the ground, but I reached up and out to God and he has sustained me!

Lately when I need strength or peace I pick up my feet and run for my Bible! In Ephesians 6:10-11 (RSV) Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. Here it is in black and white. God will be there to help me stand!

One of the Bible's I have been reading is one that belonged to hubby's grandmother. I have no idea how we got it..but I love seeing what she underlined and notes that she had written. I did not really know her very well, but would like to think that she happy that we are adding to our family. The other Bible is one that she had given us for our wedding present. It's interesting after all these years how they are joined together. God is good! Each of these Bibles and the one that is mine and the one that has carried me for many years each have a different version. God is using THREE different ways to tell me what I need to hear and obey!

And I am listening loud and clear...and still learning and still asking for help to stand. And my verse I have repeated many times is Romans 8:31 What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? I have read many adoption blogs (cried, laughed, gotten goose bumps, and prayed for them) and you know I have read many parents that have had family and friends go against them. Things that people say and sometimes do may happen, but we need to rise up and reach for our heavenly father! He loves us and wants us to run to him, like we want our adopted children to run to us! When was the last time you ran and reached up to our heavenly Father?