Kristina... Her Gotcha Day

Okay, I know you are beginning to get the picture when I pick colors to write with! I am having a tough day today. No, it does not having anything to do with our adoption. Actually, kinda scary when I wrote that...Weird. Anyway, I wanted to focus on something positive...so I will tell about our daughter's arrival into our world.

Some of you may know it, so you can speed read. Our desire to adopt started many years ago. I had always wanted a little Ukrainian "Annamaria" after my mother and grandmother. I had to have her! So we started the process, then got cold feet. Don't ask me why? Anyway, we finally found all the agencies that we needed and started on our dossier. Then there was the mess with the post adoption reports in Ukraine and they stopped accepting dossiers. Great! Guess that was God telling me NO! Okay, got it. Weird feeling though!

Well, shortly there after I started deleting my Ukraine favorites on my computer. And I came across this website. http://www.untilallhavehomes.org/ Had no clue how that got on my computer. It is a special needs website. Well, that was okay because Dan and I were working in a group home when we met. We had talked about adopting special needs even before we were married. It was just a right fit for us. Anyway, looked on the site...asked about a little girl with a heart condition. That wasn't right for us. Then there was this little girl...she just was it. She was three years and three months old. My goodness. Emailed Dan right away and asked him what he thought. Then of course I asked my mom what she thought. Dan said yes. My mom said that she would pray. So, I inquired about her. I was so nervous! Felt so nauseous!! Funny, cause that happened at ever step we took towards adopting her. (oh cried lots too!)

Anyway, I was put in touch with the woman handling the adoptions. Scary...nervous, wanted to throw up. She gave me lots of info. She asked if we could handle her CF. For some reason we said , sure no problem. I had done lots of research before we wanted to adopt her. The hospital I worked at, is nationally accredited with the CF foundation. Cool beans! Natural fit! So off we went.

Kristina was not legally available for adoption. Okay, well we would wait..I didn't care how long we wanted her. A few months went by and we were asked if we wanted to "look" at any other children. Saw the cutest kids with Downs Syndrome. My husband fell in love with one. (He has since been adopted) We decided to proceed with this little boy. He was adorable..something about his face. Well, we were moving along, then there was a glitch in his paperwork. It was tied up.

Okay, a few weeks pass and we were asked about a sibling set. Well, maybe these children are who we were supposed to adopt. God knew and we were taking the steps towards adopting. Not that we fickle...just going along. The paperwork was going so smooth, and I kept thinking is this right? Can I really handle two at the same time? We kept praying, and my mom kept praying for God's heart and hand to come home to us. Everything was going great. Then came the glitch..waiting for it weren't you? There was one more report..the person was sick and it would be done the next day. Well, no problem..it was just one more day. (They got parents, by the way!) God is so good!!

My husband was getting good at getting the feeling there was an email. I thought he was nuts! And sure enough, we got an email that said she was legally free for adoption and did we still want her? Um... YES!! So, then we had to wait a little longer...families were ahead of us, okay. Then we got the travel date. Now , remember I was still wanting to throw up! So, we got our tickets and such and we were on our way. I wanted to throw up so bad on the way to the airport! My friend told me to eat a banana. I did and begged God to give me peace. The plane rides were just fine. Too crunched for my hubby's knees..but okay for me! :)

We landed in Europe...guess what, I forgot the piece of paper that had all of our important phone numbers. There was a nice guy with his family that said they could take us to a hotel until we figured out where we needed to be...and after that our journey continued... More some other day.

Better go, Kristina is not happy because she can not go outside...it is very windy!!! And the cold kinda bit right through you...still kinda careful on what she is breathing in. So, I am going to put her to work! Get her mind off of her troubles! Here goes.

Blue again...

I was reminded again what John's name means...God is gracious! My sister asked me how could his adoption be any greater in a testimony then Kristina's was. And I said well, two things came right to mind. One, we would be able to go back a second time. (We would be the first family to do that.) Second, we have a lot more money to raise this time. Then she said wow, I was right. Yep, God is a gracious, loving God! He will take care of my little John!

It is a great reminder...God is in control! You think it's fun to play the what if...but God knows EVERYTHING..blows my mind! He knows how many time John has breathed, times he has smiled, times he has cried, times that he has hurt, and times he has laughed. We will never know that...we will be his parents, but John first had a Father! He will know his Father...maybe one of his first words will be Jesus, like Kristina said. Wouldn't that be cool! Okay, that last part made me kinda sappy, but so true!!

Well, better get off to bed, the alarm goes off mighty early around here, and I spent time with my mom and sister at our Super Target opening tonight. What a fun time... so huge! And I love it! Actually, got some Christmas ideas..to make! Yeah!

Blue...

Guess what this post is about? Yep, that would be John. I got an email this afternoon and things are progressing. We may know something for sure in a few weeks. Then possible travel date would be March or April. That is exactly what we were thinking ourselves. Looked into airfare already..so we have that idea for $$.

It's funny, wasn't expecting anything. I do know that I am to continue to work towards this adoption. That is what is coming through my study in God's word. We need to make sure we have everything going the way God wants them! Because how can our light shine before others if we are not shining on the inside.

We are excited...and waiting patiently. There is only one person doing adoptions and it sometimes takes a little while to hear news. I know she is working hard for us and others, I told her that we will wait... Last year, I didn't wait so well! :( I have such a peace and I am taking action not sitting and waiting for things to drop in my lap.

I will hopefully have some things online to start my raffles with. That is my project this weekend. It will be icky out..so that will keep us indoors. Kinda of excited about doing that, in time for Christmas.

For us, we are praying for God's will and have been asking others to do the same. And if the answer turns out to be NO, then to comfort and give us peace. Thanks

Working Hard!

This posting will be in pink for guess who? You guessed it! My gift from God!! I am so blessed, she is the best! She is so helpful, bubbly, caring, funny, gentle, and best of all loves God! Actually, Jesus was one of her first English words!

Tell you all a little story... One day about nine months ago we were talking about Jesus. She told me Jesus was at home. (I am thinking what?) I asked her where Jesus at home, and she said in her heart. Blew me away! Then I realized that God made her and I know that she radiates His love! It's unbelievable! It reminds me what a gift I have...even sometimes when she needs to be disciplined. (Sometimes I forget though) That is going to be my goal...to every time she needs a little adjusting...then remember God is in her. Wow!

Today she already has worked hard...she made some of her breakfast. Peanut butter and jelly toast. Mind you they can NOT touch! She does NOT like a pb and j sandwich! She has been making toast for months! We have a cool sided toaster..so it does not get hot. I took pictures this morning...cause I LOVE her and needed more pictures for an album. (I have not started yet)

She is enjoying the fruits of her labor! Something I am going to do. My labor took nine and a half months! Oh boy, was it hard! Maybe I will tell an abreviated version sometime! It really proves that God is in control! No matter what we think or feel! I am over my broken heart...but I do miss my little John. He is in God's control...in His time! And I love Him for that!

It is raining here today...so mommy has to find lots of indoor activities! Maybe bake daddy some cookies! Everybody have a good day today! Remember God is an awesome God! All the time, even when you blue!! :)

Broken Heart...


Drama title isn't it? Today I could not think about John without tearing up. In church our sermon was on healing a broken heart...tried so hard to get over it. Maybe, because I was so tired. When you don't sleep so well and dream...you're in for it. My dream was kinda weird, but the part right before I woke up was I was holding John in my arms. I cried when I woke up...I told God that He knows I really want that little boy! But I also told Him that I totally want His will to be done! Then it started...maybe this was the beginning of hearing the answer "no". Okay, that is what I prayed for..an answer. Peace...well not exactly..not yet. I fought with myself all morning. God has John in His hands...best place in the world to be! I would miss him and mourn for him...but God has him, better then I could ever do!

Yesterday, we were at my parents doing some winterizing. My grandmother and Kristina were a hoot to watch together.Aren't they the cutest? They both really worked HARD! It was a fun time making memories! Gotta run...Monday is coming!

October 3, 2008

We are back to blue again because I am going to talk about my wonderful husband!! I LOVE him!! :) LOTS!! Well, it has been nineteen years since he asked me to marry him! Actually, in about an hour and a half it will be! Boy, was I stunned! Although, it only took me like two minutes to answer...I was stunned! Never forget that moment! Oh, boy! :)

God answered my prayer very quickly! I am very blessed and thankful to God for him! I know I have said that before..but it is true!! I miss my husband when he is at work...love to hear him breathe, watch him play with our daughter, and I could go on and on!

I really never thought I would get a husband! It seemed that it was happening to everyone else but me...oh poor me! :) I was sure that my desire of wanting a husband and family was greater then anyone elses! What a nutcase! :) So, then I gave it to God...boy, he sure knows what I needed!! Oh, by the way I asked God for a husband that was tall (I am 5'3"), a long last name (I got four more letter), and I wanted to walk on the beach with him! (did that a few years ago!)

So, now I should probably see if I can do something sweet for him...hum, got it! :) Enjoy your loved ones! I know I do! Blessings!

October.....

Hi, it seems like fall is definitely here! It is chilly in the morning...saw my breath this morning! One of our dogs didn't want to walk on the frost...poor baby! :) We went for a walk before lunch...it was nice. Sun was shining and it's cool enough to wear a jacket! Lots of fresh air.

You know you never know how your day is going to go and what you are going to learn. Can you imagine that things could happen that would blow you away! Of course, the good and the bad. It was about a year and a half ago the this was going around...When you woke up, the first thing you said was surprise me God. I did that for a long time!! My attentiveness was really tuned in...somedays the surprises were little, a teachable moment, made me smile, but best of all was the day we got surprised with Kristina. Dan and I were SO surprised...it was a miracle. Out of the clear blue.

I guess, I am going to try to do that again...asking God to surprise me, not that I want the answer to our adoption. God knows and when the time is right then, I will know. Remember the p word? Yep, that is my word. I claim it. Now, don't get me wrong...I still think about it from time to time...but now I wait PATIENTLY!! And I live through other people who are adopting! Can you believe the parents who get children and the children that get the parents? Families!! I love that word!!