A Funny...

True story...kinda icky gross, but funny!! (disclaimer...if you have a weak stomach maybe don't read this post!) On our way to Serbia (when we adopted Srecko) I didn't feel well before the trip at all, almost said we couldn't make it. I finished packing by laying down then I'd get up and pack a little then lay down some more trying NOT to get sick...oh I felt like I had the flu or something! I just felt awful!!

Anyway I made it on the plane...with LOTS of praying and LOTS of anti-nausea pills!! I was trying to survive by sleeping and taking the pills off and and on. By the time we made it to Belgrade I was feeling better...or so I thought. (Details to come) We went to our meeting with the Ministry Officials and then we went to see Srecko. I think the excitement of the day really helped me not to be so ill.

Now on to the third day I felt so sick again and forced myself to go to our morning visit...because I wanted to see Srecko and to be completely honest I didn't want anything to work against us during our bonding. Made it through the morning visit, had lunch and laid down trying to feel better...forced myself to go to the afternoon visit. Well an hour or so into our visit I told hubby that I really DID NOT feel well. I tried everything I could to feel better, then Srecko's social worker came by and I told her I was sick and had to leave...she said it was okay and I would feel better tomorrow. Loved her optimism!!

Anyway got a ride back to the apartment and the whole time I am thinking don't throw up, don't throw up. I think I jumped out of the car as it was still moving to park...and started to run up the 4 long flights of stairs!! The elevator wasn't working!!!! I made it up just half way up the first flight when it happened!! Let's just say it was the afternoon and I had eaten lunch thinking I would feel better by eating...um NO!! As I was standing there on the cold marble steps...losing my lunch my hubby hadn't made it in yet from the car... But a man heard me and came to hold my forehead while I was throwing up. A strange man came to my rescue!! What a blessing...but first he asked me if I was DRUNK!!! I was crying at that point...and I said NO NO I was ADOPTING from the Belgrade orphanage! Some crazy American woman I am sure he thought I was!! But he helped me up the stairs to the apartment...I went and laid down and hubby cleaned up the stairs!

And um NO I did not make it the next day! I had an almost 102 degree temperature!! I thought the whole time we would not be successful at adopting Srecko because I was sick. I cried and prayed the whole time hubby went to go visit Srecko that God would grant the orphanage staff understanding during my absence! Guess what? We adopted him! And I went back the following day feeling much better! God is SO good!

We laugh about it now...especially when I can no longer eat the meal I ate that day! I also remember that day because I called my mom crying...before I prayed. She told me to think of something good out of the situation...and I said ya right!! But after I hung up I did just that and thought of many more than one thing and I think that helped me feel better faster! Now more posts about the children...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!...



A blog post will be coming...this mama is sick, but the kids aren't!! Makes for an interesting household! But we have had fun in spite of mama being down. Daddy is awesome and has done a ton!! Tomorrow we will go outside and try to fly a kite. We have NO snow here...compared to last year it is quite the contrast! The weather man said it would be blustery...so maybe just maybe they will be correct! So much more to write...Srecko's first Christmas, first Christmas without my grandma, and NO snow!

I have pictures too! Maybe tomorrow I will have more get up an go! Have a safe New Year's Eve! May God bless you all in this new year!!

Change...

Okay, as you can see I have changed the look of my blog...so for now it will be this way until I work on it some more. Not too bad as my favorite color is green and it reminds me of newness. The newness of one's self, spirit or life. Guess that is what is going on for me. Death does that to some people. My life has be changed forever but I am looking for newness in my life and asking God to bless me with it.

I will just chat briefly and move on to more exciting posts about the children. You all will like that I am sure. God has blessed me with the feeling of peace and joy. Right now as I type this I am in the room that she passed away in. Peace and joy...can still hear my daughter giggling when she and my grandma would visit. Boy, did Kristina love to play dress up and put on my grandma's babushkas. (scarfs around her head) Kristina would put on a fashion show when she would get new clothes. It was so fun to see...like kindred spirits they were.

This year in my many years of life I will not have my grandma to fix the traditional Christmas Eve dinner. She was a Greek Orthodox with a great relationship with Christ! But a Ukrainian dinner it was! Perogies, Borchst, rye bread, and other things I can not spell...oh, and herring. I know how to make this meal...but I have been sick...like not getting better sick and this meal takes a lot of work. Not complaining but if my grandma were still here she would tell me to lie on the couch, no wait she would make me help her first! So I have conceded to making the Borscht and buying the Perogies. Next year I will try to make everything...my first New Year's resolution!

My life is new, everything about it. I still plan meals around what my grandmother would like, movies for her to watch and things like that. God has given me a peace that only he can give. I can smile when I think about the way she passed away completely peaceful and so orchestrated by God. I can not thank Him enough for that and I will forever be mindful of that! God even takes care of the little things! I took pictures at the graveside and my mother was so thankful as she was not there! I thought she would think it awful...but I just felt lead to take pictures and I did.

So now on to the children...


That was on Thanksgiving day 2011! So cute they are! More posts and pictures to come!

Blog...

I do not know what happened to the look of my blog. I am NOT computer savvy and I have been trying to figure it out for days...hang on I might even change the whole look! :) Hang tight!

Mercy and Grace...

That is how I feel I have been treated with. Maybe even preserved with! My grandmother passed away 27 hours ago. That is 27 hours I have not heard her, helped her, fed her, dressed her, talked to her and lived with her. (Actually it has been a week now...been busy with many things.) She was an amazing woman...someone that I wanted to be like. Strong, stubborn, loving, caring, helpful, sweet, generous and just all around wonderful! (My hubby says I have some of those characteristics...not necessarily all the good ones!) That's okay I can say I got it from her!

I have posted about her in several posts...about persevering and caring for her. The love I had for my grandmother was like no other. Special to say the least!!

My grandmother passed away on Monday Novemeber 28th at home with me, my mom, my sister and my hubby! I watched her take her last breath. The two nights before she passed I was up every two hours checking on her and listening to her breathe. Sunday night as I was listening to her, (we had a baby monitor right by my head) I heard her breathing change. I panicked just a little and prayed to God...did I want to hear her last breath, or not? I begged God to be with me...and he was because I got calm and peaceful.

Monday the nurse and home health aide were coming. Last word I got was they couldn't come together...but guess what? God orchestrated the timing because they came together. They helped wash her up and turn her on her side as she was getting red in spots...well then her oxygen level got really low and we watched as she took her last breath.

I died right along with her...she left me! She really left me! Pain was indescribable!! I wanted to die with her...she left me!!! I miss her SO much!! Tears come as I continue to write this!!

But, as I shed tears I also have to rejoice in God's tender mercy and grace. She went so quickly and most of the family was there when she passed away. Hubby went to get the kids and they were able to say goodbye and wish her well. (She had already passed away at that point) We sang songs with her and I took pictures...Hubby and I have always told the kids that my grandmother would be moving into a room that God made and she would be living with Jesus.

The kids all had different reactions. Kristina was very somber and just looked and looked at her. Srecko could not understand why she did not take her stuff with her. I explained that Jesus would have all new things for her...so we could give her things to people her in town that need them. And Jovan, well he said "this is sad, so very sad"...and started to cry. His whole little body just shook. Broke my heart! Then we reminded the kids that My grandmother was dancing with Jesus, and playing with him. And whatever sounded like fun! :)

My grandmother stayed at the house for six and a half hours before the mortuary got her. That was the best thing we could have ever done. She did not want a fuss made. All of her friends were gone and she just had family left we kind of had the "wake" at home. We had sandwiches and we were able to go into my grandmother's room and take our time and say goodbye. If we would have had the wake at the church or funeral home it would have been a much much shorter time to say goodbye. On Thursday we had her burial. It was cold but it was a nice service. Then most of the family went to my sister's after. Hubby and I headed home to get the kids off the bus.

The saddest part was the fact that my mom (my grandmother's only child) was not there. She was sitting in my dad's hospital room. My dad had day surgery...but had complications and had to be admitted. Praise God he came home yesterday after one week! I took pictures and my mom was glad! I am glad!

Praise God and I give all the glory to God for such a beautiful time with her passing away. I was terrified that the house would have death all over it...but God is so good to me. There is only peace and joy where there was once suffering and death!! And to have everyone able to come to our house and see her was amazingly wonderful! Praise God all over and over again for a peaceful passing away to heaven for my beloved grandmother!!!

Confession...

I have a confession, it's like the same day after day! Why can't I learn my lessons? The verse below came to me this morning while I was working/tolerating my grandmother. Do I do everything so God can work in me the way he wants me to? Well, probably not...I sometimes stumble and complain about my situation instead of giving the glory to God that he is holding me up.

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a]have been called according to his purpose.

To think about the why of my life I just need to remember to get through one day, one hour, one minute or even one second. So far this morning I have had to count the hours that I have made it through counting on God and really trying to let go and let God handle the situation. Thanks be to God that I have made it four hours so far! Praise God I only had one melt down of tears because of something my grandmother said. But I should know she really is talking out of her mind...but you know words can hurt!

I am so thankful to know that I am a child of god and can count on him and remember to count my blessings!! My mom has my daughter, the boys are playing outside...it's just the right temperature that it is comfortable out. Have baked apple crisp and banana bread (the best I think I have ever made...Bonus!!!!) Working on my third load of laundry...easy because it is the round of sheets and towels! Love it! God has given me strength to get to this hour!! Thank you God!

Giving God the glory for the good in my life is easy! I just need to remember to to turn the icky stuff that happens into praise. Like the song we played and sang over and over again when we were adopting Kristina...

Blessed Be Your name When I'm found in the desert place Though I walk through the wilderness Blessed Be Your name

  Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say  

Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord 

Blessed be Your glorious name  Blessed be Your name 

When the sun's shining down on me When the world's 'all as it should be' 

Blessed be Your name  Blessed be Your name 

On the road marked with suffering Though there's pain in the offering Blessed be Your name 

 Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise 

When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say  Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name

 Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord 

Blessed be Your glorious name  You give and take away You give and take away

 My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name

So today every hour I am going to Give God the glory for EVERYTHING!  

Thank you God!

Let's See...

How come life can just whiz by and you can't remember anything? We haven't done much of anything exciting. Srecko has been home five months now. He has really started to speak in English. Like in the last week or so, it is like he has found his voice and is talking ALL the time. His voice is like music to my ears!

There are moments that I still can't believe I have three kids...they are mine (and of course hubby's too) and God blessed and trusted me to be their mother!! Just about anyone can have a birth baby...but what a journey of trust and faith and let's not forget PERSEVERANCE to adopt!! You can always look back and say, wow that wasn't so bad! :) Hopefully one day God will trust me with more!

I was thinking about my childhood and how much I wanted to be a mother...like we are talking five years old or so. I had lots of dolls and I loved each one of them...they were all different! When I was growing up we lived in a house with an attic type set up for a bedroom. It was long and ran the length of the house and the walls were covered with wood paneling. The dresser was built into the wall, but there was a door you could get into behind the dresser drawers. Confused? Hope not, anyway there were about twelve drawers and I would imagine that there was a lamp and a rocking chair back there for me and in each one of those drawers was a baby that I took care of. Wow, what an imagination! But, I loved babies and kids!! Starting watching kids when I was about nine years old...my mom was always close by, but it was my responsibility.

On another post I think I may have mentioned this...when I was in about fifth grade in school we had kids that had disabilities that sat in the lunch room with the "typical" kids...and I would watch them...and that is when I knew I would have special needs kids. That was cool!! Some memories I will never forget. When I was a my last year of high school I could have graduated early...but instead chose to work in a special needs classroom. Can you guess I LOVED it!! I worked with a little boy with Downs Syndrome...oh man, did I enjoy that. I taught him his colors...using sign language and to ride a bike and many other things. I did that every morning and went back to school for lunch and afternoon classes. That was a nice time to remember.

This month is Adoption Awareness Month. Orphan Sunday was last Sunday. Basically it is to bring to light all of the orphans WORLD wide that need parents! Some people are called by God to adopt like we were. Praying for families and orphans can be something to do and families greatly appreciate that! Another major way is to donate money and support families financially. Even five dollars goes a long way!! Five dollars buys the family something to eat in country or pays some or all of the taxi fare. Five dollars buys fresh fruit to give to their newest addition. Kristina and Srecko LOVED bananas!! Oh, and let's not forget little treats for the kids...we had several rainy days and brought treats, and not always food either!

Right now there are three friends that are adopting. The one thing that we have in common is that we all adopted from Serbia. I am going to link to their blogs so you can read their stories. Two are adopting from a country other then Serbia this time...

Leah over here, Lorraine over here, and Faith over here . Go check them out...some incredible stories! Would have never met them if it weren't for all of us adopting!! Go see their blogs and how God is working and changing their lives!! Okay...wish I was with them, but only God knows where/when or even if we are to adopt again! Please take a moment and pray for families that are adopting...Satan can really attack during theses times, just pray! Thank you!!