A Confession...

I need to confess something that has been bothering me for awhile.  We have a situation (won't go into it) and it is really terrifying me!!  For me to talk about faith on this blog and not have it, is making me a hypocrite!!  And I don't want to be that way.  It took faith and perseverance to adopt our three miracles!  So why am I having trouble with this situation...there are so many variables that are floating around in my mind and I am NOT giving God any of the control.

There was a reason that this situation came about and I believe God orchestrated that, but now I just can't see how it is going to work out in the end.  There are so many verses I can quote from the Bible.  Like the first chapter of James...it talks a lot about perseverance and faith.  Verse 6 says "But when he asks, he must believe and NOT doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."  Verse 7 "That man should NOT think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is double-minded man, unstable in all he does."

Yep, that is me right now...trying to give it up to God, but just can't let go.  Some days I am really able to and then I take it right back again.  I take things little by little and try really hard to find the little mercies God gives me, because God is a merciful and gracious God and HE will NOT fail me!  Wow, we won't drop off the edge and God will provide all our needs!  Needs not wants!!  And let me tell you that I know the difference!  That is why God says to live only for today as for tomorrow has enough of it's own trouble.  (Paraphrased that last part)  The version that is true and not paraphrased is actually found in Matthew 6 verse 34!

So, I have confessed and I feel better!  Trust me I am going to take my own advice!  And today so far I am!  I have supper slow cooking and two more dinners started...three loads of laundry done!  Praise God I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me!

Our Meeting...

On Tuesday morning we got ready for our meeting with the adoption unit in Belgrade to find out more about Kristina.  I cried during most of it...actually tears just streamed down my face at a very fast pace.  I heard them tell us all about her and the reason that she was in the orphanage.  The whole time I was thinking about her mother and the choice she made to give Kristina up.  My heart just hurt thinking how hard that must of been, and to know she would never see her again.  I still have a pain in my heart...well not quite a pain but more like a passing sadness when Kristina passes a milestone or something like that.

Anyway after the information was shared, they asked us if we wanted to continue with the adoption.  And you all know that we said YES!!  But, a tiny part of me during that meeting thought that they would say no...like if they got a bad vibe from us or because I keep crying!  So I was so thankful that they seemed like we would be a good fit for Kristina.  Praise God actually!  And we had a lot of help before and during her adoption from someone in Belgrade that really loved Kristina.

THEN, we all piled into a small taxi and drove the less then ten minutes away to meet her!

Yes, indeed we met her!!  She had just woken up from a nap so she was a little groggy.  She came to me and I showed her toys that were in her bag...she loved the magna-doodle!  Her most prized possession that day was her tata (Serbian for daddy)!!!  The joy and excitement was so vivid on her little tiny face!  He was wrapped around her fingers so fast and my hubby was soaking it all in with joy!

The first picture of us as a family!  She looks scared but she wasn't...she was just wanting to be on the move!  We were one happy couple...let me tell you!  And the story continues...

Finding Food...

Okay, five years ago today was finding food and other essentials to survive day.  Hubby and I walked out of our apartment through the courtyard to the sidewalk.  We stopped dead in our tracks and didn't know which way to turn...we were a wee bit chicken.  Probably not my hubby, but I had enough sheer terror for the both of us.  All I could think about was getting lost!!  We went back into the safe refuge of our apartment and looked for maps of the city!  Success!!  A map would be our guide...and then we weren't thinking, we could just walk up and down our street and see what there was.  Yeah, that's what we did!!  Up two blocks was a little tiny store called a Pekabetta.  Then up the block we found another and the greatest find was a big market!!  The market was huge and had EVERYTHING you could think of needing!  Which would come in handy later that week!

After we ate some bread and lunch meat we walked for hours!  Up one street and turn back and go up another...and being brave to cross the sidewalk even with the traffic ZOOMING by us!!  We did enjoy our day, and a little apprehensive about our meeting to hear about Kristina and then to meet our daughter!  Stay tuned!

An Explanation...

I found this great video to explain Cystic Fibrosis.  It explains it very well!  And right now Kristina is trying hard to get well.  She has been sick for awhile now.  It's hard for her to shake it...but she goes in for her third re-check in a week or so!  Praying all is well as we really don't want another hospital stay!  We had one in 2008 and praying we NEVER have one again!!  In Serbia she was in and out of the hospital ALL the time!!  She has so many tiny little scar marks on her hands from all the needle pokes!  That made me sad when I first saw that!!

Thank God for your "healthy" children and please pray for a cure...they (the scientists) are really close in doing so!  And I will kiss my daughter tonight and thank God for her life!!

Guess What?...

Five years ago we landed on Serbian soil for the first time to adopt our daughter!!

That's hubby in our hotel room waiting for our ride to the apartment we rented.  We were VERY tired!!!  And hungry...airplane food is not anything like home cooking.  When you are hungry enough you will eat it though...except for the sandwich on the flight from Amsterdam to Belgrade!!!  No way!!!  (On the way back to the US we went through London and we ate it because we were then used to food like that!)  Funny how that works!

We would not have had to rent the room in the hotel if I would have told our pick up person the right flight info in the first place...oops!!  And my important papers got left at home and one thing on that paper was the guy's number!  Thank goodness my hubby still loves me!

I may have mentioned this story somewhere else on my blog and for that I apologize!!  Anyway, we got to the Belgrade airport and went through customs...not very stressful!  Then we walked into where everyone meets you and you catch a ride or drive yourself away.  (Like our driver would have been there)  Our driver was not there, and we were starting to get worried!!  Well VERY anxious!!!  So I prayed VERY hard and with great great peace I knew that God would not abandon us...even in a foreign country!!  It is a hard feeling to describe...I had a peace like an understanding that God wanted us to totally depend on him...and not do things our way.

In the Amsterdam airport we met a couple who were going back to Belgrade for vacation.  They lived abroad and went back to visit family for a few months of the year.  We talked for a long while waiting to board our plane.  I bring that up because they had friends that met them at the airport to say hi!  After waiting until the crowd was really thin and trying not to looked freaked out of our minds, the friends walked over to us and asked us if we needed help.  So we told him what had happened and he asked us if he could give us a lift somewhere.  Fear weld up inside as I asked God if this was his answer...yep it was!  Then he loaded us up in his car...piled our four suitcases, us, his wife and son in the car.  Now mind you the cars in Serbia are NOT big!  He dropped of his family and took us to the nearest hotel...without charge!!

The room had to rented for the day even though we were going to stay a few hours to find out how to get to where we needed to be.  Got that situated but it was going to take awhile, so we ventured out to look for food.  It was Sunday and nothing appeared to be open...we walked around a few blocks and said to each other that not a soul knows where we were except God!  Kinda a weird feeling...

While we were waiting we went back to the hotel and ordered a pizza and two cokes.  When the pizza came so did our ride...so we couldn't even eat.  The apartment was lovely.  We just looked a pictures and they have remodeled in the last five years.  Here is where you can check it out.  They built a wall between the dining and living rooms.  And the kitchen has been remolded...added an oven.  We had three burners...and very little cookware!!  We survived our three week stay without too many issues.  It came with internet as well!!  Stay tuned for the continuing story of our adventure to our daughter!!

Than and Now...

We went to Srecko's last day of school program.  Srecko went to a school just for kids with Cerebral Palsy  (CP) while in Serbia. The program was created by a young man who had CP as well.  It was so special to be able to go and see his program!!  Before we left to adopt Srecko we went to Jovan's and Kristina's end of school year plays too!  So for me as a mom it was the best!

Srecko looks so young in this video!  My sweet little boy is growing up faster then I can stand!  It was almost one year between videos.  The first one is in May of 2011.

   

 

This year...one year later May 2012 he is talking in English and can retain most of his poem...which to me is quite long compared to some of the other kids!  We do not and may never know the extent of his brain injury so we have been taking school one day at a time.  He can spell words, loves math...can do simple problems in his head.  He is now wanting me to spell everything I say to him!  This summer we will continue to work on school related things!  

I am so utterly thankful that I could be there for both programs.  And especially thankful to God for allowing me to be a mom to a very special child!  I am so blessed!

Happy Mother's Day...

Oops, I forgot to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day here in the US.  And everywhere else for that matter!  :)  And I am taking this opportunity to wish my mother in law a belated Happy Mother's Day!!!!  I actually kept forgetting what day it was!  My kids came home on Friday with gifts that they had made, so it felt like Mother's Day for me.  So mom in law I apologize for forgetting!!

We went to church, made a rice hot dish, and I napped with a cool breeze on me!  That was the best part of the day.  On Saturday I worked outside ALL day and my hubby worked at my parent's house ALL day!  Then I grilled steak!!  Supper was started even before hubby got home, so when he walked in the door everything was ready!!  It was great!

I will post pictures soon!  Nothing much is going on here, for the first time in about six years we do not have any adoption plans!  Still VERY open to more children and God knows that, so we leave it in his hands!