Sunday, April 29, 2012


A hard word to think about, right?  It is for me sometimes...guess it's what it is in reference to.  An icky bug...well then it's okay?  A person who has suffered for a very long time and is ready to die?  An unborn baby that is not wanted or an inconvenience?  A wounded animal?  How about a person who is all done living because it is too hard?  Or how about a child who dies way too young?  And then there are the people who have died at the hands of others because of who they are/were.

I am familiar with a few of those scenarios and very thankful that I am not familiar with the others.  When I spend time on the computer I read a LOT about many different things and topics.  I love to read adoption blogs of course!  And it brings me to other blogs of really sick kids that are hanging on for the fight of their life.  Then there are the times that I read about the children that are living hell on earth.  Suffering just because they are different and no one wants them.  (That's another blog post for another day)

My heart aches when I read and think about people and children like that.  Sometimes I just cry and cry and wonder why.  We have had to explain death to our kids because of my grandma dying and Easter came and we re-told them the story of Jesus and his death on the cross.  It has been hard to explain to our kids when people die. We say when Jesus is ready for you.  My grandma was very old when she died and Jesus wanted her then not sooner.  Sometimes Jesus wants little kids or moms and dads...we never know when, but God calls us to live our life the way that He wants us to.  I think the kids get it...most of it anyway.

Hubby and I love history...basically all kinds of history, especially WWII.  He likes the Pearl Harbor side of the war and I like the European  side.  So we share information and learn together.  Last night we watched a movie called The Aryan Couple.  It was based out of Hungary during WWII and was so gripping for us.  (freaked us out when it was done)  People are put to death because of religion and many other excuses every day... because they are different.  Why?  Innocent children, moms, dads, grandparents, aunts, uncles and so on.  Why?

Couldn't God have stopped all the killings?  Sure he could, but he also gave man free will and men and women use and abuse their free will all the time.  Sounds like a sad excuse but it is true...I am sure God wept/weeps because of what was/is still happening!

Another thought I have is that there are a few people I know that are dealing with cancer.  Today in church we sat next to a couple whose  husband is dealing with a new diagnosis of Lymphoma.  The wife cried through out the sermon and the worship time.  I prayed for them during the service...I was a bit can this man be sick with a deadly disease?  He is an asset to our church not to mention to his family!  Death is close to him...I know he is ready to see Jesus and dance the streets of gold, but there is sadness of his family losing him.

Why am I going on and on about death?  Because I thought about all the people who don't know about Jesus Christ and what he did for us.  God sent his son as a cute little baby to grow up on earth and be put to death on a cross so that if we believe in him we will have everlasting life.  Wow, it's that simple.  You do not have to do anything to gain salvation, but believe.  Doing kind things and every good thing that you can think of will not get you into heaven!

In the Bible the third book of John Jesus is speaking to a man named Nicodemus about entering the gates of heaven.  In verses 16-18  "For God so, loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son." 

 And for the believing part it is not just for a moment of believing but a continual belief in Him!   God loves us no matter who we are and what we have done!  When we believe in God we are dead to our old selves!  Meaning God forgives you of all of the wrong things you may have done and may do in the future.  You can not accept God and continue to do wrong things because God will hold you accountable for those things!  To be free and not fear death is a wonderful feeling.  I do not fear death and will be very happy to dance the happy dance in heaven with Jesus!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My dad came through his procedure with no problems!  Praise God!  When he woke up he didn't even realize that they had  completed the procedure.  They had to shock his heart twice, but he did great!  I know it has to do with people praying for him!  He NEVER does well waking up from anesthesia!!  Today was easy!  Thank you God for your mercy and grace!  Now hopefully my dad will feel better for a long time!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

My dad...

I have been trying to think about how far back that I have memories of my dad. It has been hard (I am old!!) to separate memories from pictures that we have. When I was little I remember my dad always busy. He was strict and don't remember him playing with me at all.

Fast forward to pre-teen and teenage years. Can I say ROUGH!! Oh my! Back in the day it was acceptable to spank your child and even have them eat soap. Yep, ate soap a lot because I was told I was disrespectful. And I wanted to say the same thing back to him. I still have a vivid memory of an incident that should have never taken place if he would have listened to me. But I am sure that we all have things like that happen to us.

We worked hard, or he made us work hard. There was a time that I wondered what my life would be like with only one parent...with him being gone.

Now, later in my life my father has changed. I mean really changed like night from day! He is living the way that God intended him to live. Christ like. I am in love with my dad and am glad that we have had many years together like that.

He shows me how to cook and bake and work with power tools! There are many things he lets me do myself like that. It is so fun!! I work hard now because I love my father and want to contribute.

When we adopted Kristina he went over the moon in love with her. I had never seen him display so much affection like he did for her! They have a very special bond and I love watching it.

The reason I am blogging about my dad is that he has a sick heart and is going in for a procedure that actually stops his heart then the doctors have to start it again. I don't know and don't want to know all the details because I am afraid! And he is afraid too! Very afraid!

Fear of losing him now that we have a great relationship! I know that God tells us not to fear and my dad would I am sure be happy to go home to Jesus...but I would miss him so much and after losing my grandmother I don't think I could handle another death. God is in control I know and I have to leave my burdens at the feet of Jesus and I will pray without ceasing for my father. He has surgery next week so please pray for his health and his heart that it will cooperate! He does not do well after procedures. And pray for God's healing!

What is a timeline? According to Merriam-Webster dictionary it is: A graphic representation of the passage of time as a line.

Okay, so now on to why I brought this subject up...My kids have to do a timeline for school from birth on to how ever old they are. Our kids are adopted so the details we have are unknown. It saddened me today when I thought about the milestones in each of my kids lives. When did they roll over, sit up, crawl...all of those first steps in developing movement.

I do know that when Jovan was 4 1/2 he felt grass for the first time as I was the one who set him in it. The look on his face was priceless!! Then of course for all three to ride an airplane was memorable...and then on to everything at home in America.

So, what do I put on the timeline? I don't have the same year details...Kristina we adopted when she had just turned four. Both boys were seven when they were adopted...

As I look at the sheet right in front of me I am thankful to God that they no longer have an "empty" timeline. Starting from the day we adopted them a new timeline was formed. One with firsts and memories too!

Update...did Jovan's so his is done! Now on to Kristina's!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Happy Belated Easter...

Right away in the morning (we were getting ready for the 7:30 service) and my hubby greeted me with Christ has Risen! But he said it in Ukrainian like my grandmother would have if she would have lived. I answered him back Christ has Risen Indeed in Ukrainian and cried while curling my hair. Not only do those words mean something about my Savior...being saved by Christ, believing in Him that he paid the price with His life so that I may live with my heavenly Father forever!!! But to hear Ukrainian spoken again was wonderful!!

That is our family, the five of I have been missing my grandmother and great uncle. I have been spring cleaning some more and found some very old pictures of my great uncle. Like really old. And I found a birthday and Christmas card from about sentimental memories.

I think I am just in a melancholy mood. Tired maybe... Remembering the days long ago and also a few children that we thought about adopting...where are they now type of feelings. Have to trust God on their safety and ultimately their lives.

The other hand I am so happy to be the mom of THREE kids! Really I am! THREE kids wonderfully and fearfully made by God! I know I have said that in other posts, but it is worth repeating!! I became a mother in 2002 but did not have that baby in my arms until 2009! And that baby is now nine years old and loving life! He loves to draw and talk about fire trucks a lot! I love him to pieces!!

Then I became a mother again in 2003 and that baby girl I didn't get to hold until 2007. She is delightful and the best little girl this mommy could ever have. She love to color and also is a wiz at putting together puzzles with OUT looking at the picture!! Drives me nuts putting together a puzzle with her...she won't let me look at the box to see the picture. She has a sense of humor that just makes you laugh and giggle right beside her!

Wow, then five short months and twelve days later in 2003 I became a mother for the third time!! But that little baby boy didn't come home to his mama's arms until 2011!! That little boy is very loving and sweet. He loves to play outside, go to school and learn all there is to learn about life!! Learning about how things work is very important to him. At the grand old age of eight, this little boy wants to drive a bulldozer or a garbage truck and have FIVE kids! Well at least I know I might be a grandmother if he gets his way and finds a wife that will take on that challenge!! But they could always adopt!

Just talking about them lifts my spirits! Such a generous and loving God that would bestow such blessings to us! He made it possible to become a mom three times!!! Only by his grace and patience could it have happened!! Patience was needed because I was always trying to drive the bus...especially for our first adoption!! But God knew exactly when and how I was going to be a mother, a huge desire of my heart!

What has been on the minds of the kids is that they are waiting to be able to play outside everyday! It was so warm for the season that they got to play out a lot in spring jackets but yesterday they had to wear winter's like we are going back into the deep freeze! That's okay they are tough kids!!

Thursday, April 5, 2012


Each kid has been in a performance in the last week. Srecko's was for Palm Sunday at church. He sang and recited a Bible verse with the group. He was SO excited to be up there!!! That kid LOVES to perform and dance!!!! Anytime music plays he wants to dance! His style is to do the worm from side to side. I'll have to video an example it's too cute!!!!!

Kristina and Jovan had a performance at school. It was called Friends and was the sweetest thing I have seen in a long time!! I didn't take a lot of pictures because I was too busy watching it. Jovan handed out the programs...he was the perfect greeter for that job.

Not much else is going and now Easter break. We have been really talking to the kids about Easter and the true meaning behind it. They did so much Easter Bunny junk at school, it's almost like we need to de-program them!!! But they know, they really do. We took a course at church called Alpha, it was great!!! It was like a refresher for us taught by a guy from London. (LOVE their accents!!) Anyway, after the class and on the way home with the kids we were able to share what we learned and they really listened and asked questions...Praise God!!! And they still ask questions so it is a great time to be together as a family!

Having my children know and believe in God is the most important job I have as a mom. God gave us those children and we dedicated them back to him and are raising them the way God instructs us to. I hope one day my children will be able to give their testimonies and share what God means to them!!

Our celebration for Easter will be different this year because of the absence of my grandmother. Rather laid back and not even some of the same food. Easter is my most favorite holiday...and I have put more into the meaning then the food celebration...does that make sense? And I MISS my grandmother SO VERY VERY much!!! Still, I can remember Easter when I was a little girl! My most favorite foods were served. Ham, Krakowska, Sauerkraut and rye bread! Yep, that was awesome!! Did I say I missed her? I wish I would have recorded her voice, but I always thought I had time. I took lots of pictures with her and the children, they thought she was pretty special too! We talk about her, the kids bring her up mostly when we are sitting at the table...they want to make sure that Jesus is feeding her all the favorite foods she had! So sweet!

Getting ready for Spring around here too...almost time to mow the lawn! We had the weirdest NON snowiest winter I have ever seen!!!! So it will be interesting to see what the weather will be like this Spring into Summer! Srecko wants a pool really bad...and Jovan can now swim on his back independently!! And can hold his breath when he is in the bath tub...but he swims in a pool. Srecko was swimming about ten minutes after he got in the pool for the first time...and that is all we hear about it getting a pool! So we are already price checking for them.

Well, that's about it for us...the days just fly by for us and I can't believe it!