Do you ever feel like sometimes you are not heard...no matter how hard you try? And sometimes trying to explain things makes it worse. And even though you are honest and truthful to your very core, you are just not believed? How does that make you feel? For me it makes me feel very sad, angry, frustrated, whithered and just plain want to quit.
It has taken a lot of faith and really trusting God to get us as far as we have in this adoption. Each of our children's adoptions have had their own trials, obstacles and difficulties, but none as hard as this one. I have learned more about trusting and waiting upon God than ever before. That's how He works isn't it? - through our pains and sufferings we learn obedience, trust and worship. In Hebrews the Bible talks about how Jesus learned obedience. Hebrew 5:8 Although he was the Son, he learned obedience through what he suffered.
The adoption site we were working with literally turned on us. Instead of encouraging us on we received reprimands that we weren't raising money fast enough, that I was not following their directions and even worse that we were standing in the way of this little boy receiving parents.
It hurts like crazy to be misunderstood and worse yet to be falsely accused! I wanted to give up! Not give my up my heart's desire for our son, but give up the struggles and battles we keep encountering in reaching him! How deep can a heart be broken? I've learned the depths of pain in a new way.
But who is God? He is alive and well! He sees when we are crushed! He hears our heart's cry! He's not indifferent to injustice! He rises up to our defense! That is the almighty God my family and I worship! And he is tenderhearted and with a sense of humor!
I was filled with joy and laughter with what God showed me. So in the very midst of my despair, I got my Bible out and found a couple of passages in Isaiah. They just jumped out at me! I am so thankful that God showed me these passages!
Chapter 43:5 Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you; I will say to the north, Give up, and to the south, Do not withhold; bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth.
Chapter 41:11-13 Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall parish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I will help you".
He has made us stronger so we can continue to do God's will no matter what! I will hold out my right hand and join it with my heavenly Father!
So now this goes back to feelings... so many! But I will tell you that we are not giving up! We are climbing the huge mountain ahead of us. Being strong and trusting God in all of this. He led us to bring this boy home where he belongs and God will help us no matter what the opposition is!
There will be one less orphan as soon and I hope all you faithful readers and the heavenly hosts above rejoice with us! Please join with us and pray for God to continue working through us. I cling to this powerful verse in Romans 8:31 (NIV) If God is for us then WHO could be against us? That to me means NO ONE can be...