Thursday, September 4, 2008

GOD is good!! All the time GOD is good!

I have decided to start my blog today, after much thought of what I would say. This blog is about our desire to catch another butterfly. And also to add on things about our first butterfly, Kristina. After many hours and hours of crying and praying we are ready to hold the net. If it is God's will that he bless us with another child, we would be thrilled to peices! The reason that I wrote God is good.... is because today, once again, I realized that God is good! Whether we adopt again or not, that is God's choice for us. That is what we and many other people have been praying for..God's will be done. He can fill us with peace that he is not ours or grant us with much love for our newest child. And that is why God is good ALL the time.

If it is not God's will that we catch another butterfly..then this blog will be about our first butterfly, Kristina. But right now I will be bloggin' about filling our net again. Here is what I wrote about him on the sixteenth day of our daughter's adoption. Some of you have read this before.

I stood there with Jovan looking out the window..he was so happy! Then I started to sing to him..he melted in my arms! I don't sing well at all..but God gave me a voice that reached Jovan.. I sang Jesus loves me and a couple of other kid’s songs. I prayed hard for Jovan..I asked God to help his spirit and keep him from a horrible life that he could have. I told Jovan in his ear that Jesus loved him and God made him for a reason, we don't know why...but for some reason and he was loved!! He was so peaceful. He has a little excited wild side as well!! Loves glasses..He does not speak..but he has a strong spirit and grip!! Please pray for him..I just feel that everyone needs to pray for him!! Pray for his spirit, and his life, that God would spare it from the hell he will have to go to if no one takes him as a son! I know they all need homes..but please pray for him!

I have begged God for parents for him! It was unclear if we were those parents or not. When I left him, it was like leaving my son. My heart was breaking and yet we were bringing our first child home! I was thrilled to death to be a mom! Waiting for that day was very painful, watching family and friends have children...and yet why not me God? I have been a mom for one year and four months, but who is counting? For the last several months he has been on my mind more then heart was starting to ache and ache. God had to hold him as I can not! I told many people about him..maybe they would be his parents? Who knew? God does! So, I finally asked about him..was he alright, does he have parents? And I was told he was fine and that I would not believe how well he was doing! I said yes I would because I have been praying and praying for him. It was expressed that he deserved parents. Well, it took all of day to say we wanted him. So here we go...depending on God and walking through the doors he opens, praying all the time.

Now to tell you about Jovan, he will be turning six in a few days. Cute as a bugs ear! Love him to death! A smile that would melt anyone's heart. A laugh like a whisper. A cry that saddens you..and I would be glad to call him my son. I was having a hard time today...until I thought about how good God was to me. Wanting to hear some news one way or the other. If it's bad, then get it over with. But, thankfully God doesn't work that's in His time! I told my mom that Kristina's adoption was like knowing I was having a baby, but unsure of the due date. And Jovan's is like waiting to find out if the stick is going to be blue. Or maybe is it a plus or minus? I don't know what other kinds of tests there are...but you get my point.

I will end my first post here...there are still many things I want to add to it. All the fun stuff...And fundraising ideas, but have to wait and see if we need to do that. I added a clock so that all of you can see what time it is in Jovan's world.


Trisha, Duane, and Family said...

Hi Tammy...I LOVE IT!!!! I am so excited to "live" your adoption process with you. My grand baby loves your blog, too. We will be checking often. Lots of love!!! Trisha (mom2r9)

Zactly said...

Great blog!! I will enjoy following along. May God give you strength and patience. You know you all are in our prayers.