Up and Down...

I have not had any energy to post..we have had a lot of ups and downs with Kristina being in the hospital. It started with her little veins, that are too worn out and too little to keep the IV in her arms. Then after many attempts to get another one in..today they put in a central line. Which they had to do like a surgery. Oh, how I cried!!

But, just too much emotion..she was supposed to be discharged on Thursday..now it won't be until next Thursday..we hope!! We are praying for God to heal her. Oh, please God! That is my little baby..who looks like she has aged in a week.

There is not much more to say..other then please pray for us. I'll try to post some pictures..

Heart...

Tonight as I sit and blog, my little baby girl is in the hospital. She is being pumped with antibiotics to "kill a bug" in her lungs. We tried oral meds but they weren't quite strong enough. I took her to the hospital and daddy (he left work a little early) met us there. (good thing!!)

I could not breathe and had such pain in my heart. Owie! It was hard to be there as a patient, as I worked there for five years. So, I knew in my head things would be okay..but my heart hurt. My niece came with as she stayed with us for a couple of nights..as a distraction for Kristina and me! :)

Dan left to take her home..as soon as he left, in walked the team to put in her IV and draw blood. I was proud of myself..not to many tears and a pretty clear voice. It took three times. She has so much scar tissue in her veins..hard to find a good one. Then I found out the has to been re done every three days..she will be in a minimum of a week. Uffda

It was many hours before we saw the doctor. But it was her doctor..not a colleague of his. He explained EVERYTHING!! Thanks doctor M It was overwhelming..oh my, but this is what we need to do. Because of her CF we need to really blast it out of her body. They are so close to a cure for CF, maybe in her lifetime? God knows that answer!

I cried on the way home..it was a long ride home. My heart still aches..but its softer now. Almost home I cried harder when I realized how good God is! He loves me and knows what I need! 1) I have a WONDERFUL, LOVING, KIND, THOUGHTFUL, BEAUTIFUL husband. He is staying the night shift and I will come in the morning. 2) I have to wonderful friends that work there that come in the morning and said they would check on her. 3)KRISTINA'S doctor is working over the weekend. 4) I have a mother that sacrificed her day to take care of my grandmother who was cranky and worried about Kristina. 5)My family is understanding that I have a little bit more stress from time to time.. 6)I am a child of God and He knows what I need when I need IT!

And of course..

There is my little boy hanging out waiting for his mommy and daddy to come and bring him home. When we hit the ten month mark I wanted to post but was so ill.. We waited/are waiting for him to come home..but it is not in vain! He is coming! We are preparing a place for him..just like our Father in heaven is preparing a place for us!! It gave me goose-bumps!! Wow!

I was reading another blog, and the family is having a little trouble bringing their son home. Daddy went back after the waiting period..then they ran into a snag with some test results. He is soooo very close to bringing him home..please pray that God will be involved in the situation and give peace to that family..and give them the strength to persevere!

My wish is that I can finish Jovan's room before Kristina comes home..wouldn't daddy be excited! (he can't read this because it is blocked at work and on the hospital laptop on loan to us) :) I think that I am going to ask got for the strength to do it...

Well, my four legged little boys want their mommy. Grandma just isn't quite the same. But they sure love her! And gotta get a good night sleep (who am I kidding)..I have been up in the night praying and praying!! And singing songs! Cooper just brought me a ball..big hint I'd better go! Keep praying!! We all can use it and God sure takes care of us!

Still here...

Been so busy! So much to blog..but most important is this. Adoption is not an easy option to have children. Some similar things..lose of child due to natural causes or red tape. With adoption you need to pay for it up front. Insurance does NOT cover anything! So, the cost is huge all pretty much at once.

Many families that I have met online need help coming up with the up front cost of their adoptions. So, from time to time they have fundraisers..and here is one from a family that is adopting a son/s from Eastern Europe. And they are giving away a mini Dell laptop. Here is her description of what to do to have a chance to win.

We are very excited to announce that we have a brand new DELL MINI 10 LAPTOP to give away as a thank you to those who donate to our adoption fund!!!!!The Mini 10 is Alpine White(as pictures above) and is brand new in the original box straight from Dell. It has a 10.1” monitor and comes with Windows XP, a wireless card, a built in web cam, a one year limited warranty and much more!In an effort to raise the remaining money needed for our attorney fees, we will be giving away this laptop to someone who donates toward our adoption fund any time from now until July 3rd.
There are several ways to get multiple chances to receive this lap top:1.) Donate toward our adoption anytime between today and July 3rd. Donations can be made via the pay pal link on the side bar or through regular mail.2.) Help us collect donations. We have a few friends who are helping us spread the word by asking for donations and giving out tickets to people who donate. If you’d like to do this, contact me for information on how to get your tickets.3.)Refer a friend and get them to donate toward our adoption. This works a lot like #2 accept that you can do this through your blog, email, online forums, etc.
If you help us spread the word about our fundraising and find people to donate toward our adoption, you will receive an extra entry into the drawing for each person that donates because you told them about our fund raisers! In this case, the person donating can put your name in the notes section or you can email me and let me know once their donation is made.Everyone who donates money toward our adoption from now until July 3rd will receive a ticket number that will be valid for this drawing.
If you send your donation via pay pal, please make sure the email address is valid. Otherwise, send the correct email address in the notes section of the pay pal transaction. You should receive a ticket number via email within 24 hours of donating to our adoption account.If you’d like to donate to our adoption via regular mail, any donation in increments of $5 will count toward one entry in the drawing ($5=1, $10=2, $15=3, etc.). If the donation is made via pay pal, donations made in increments of $6 will count toward one entry in the drawing($6=1 entry, $12=2, $18=3, etc). This is because pay pal will take the extra money to cover their fees!If you’re interested in donating via regular mail or in helping us collect donations so that your friends and family can have a chance at the lap top too, please contact me at: shele337@yahoo.comAny questions can also be sent to the same email address.



So, if you want a chance at a lap top..then better donate now! You have till July 3rd! Wow, not much time! And from time to time I will be adding other give aways and chances to win items..and in turn you will help an orphan win the biggest prize of all!! A family!!

Tears...

Today I was working in the kitchen and down the hall comes Kristina scooting on her rear end. She said "I Jovan mommy" My heart broke! She hasn't seen Jovan in two years..because of his lower limb issue he scoots. Does she remember? I don't know.

I did tell her that Jovan won't stand up tall like she can. But she can help him reach things he can't. We don't even talk about his legs. It made me miss him so much!! I can't wait to go!

She is outside playing with her almost two year old nephew. They play so well together! He is such a good baby! My parent's dog came over for a visit today too. Her name is Muffin and she is the same color as Calvin..only she is on the plump side. :) She is an only dog, her sister was killed..so I think it is good for the dogs to play together. Wonder how Jovan will be with them? Kristina was nervous for about a week. We tried to get her to understand "puppy". There was a dog at the orphanage, but he always barked. We would say nice puppy.. and hoped that she understood.

Better get going..got lots to do. I am working on his room and our closet. When daddy gets home we need to fill up Kristina's pool and unload the truck with boards and such at grandma and grandpa's! :)

Blue and Pink...

I think those colors together make purple. The last couple of days I have been thinking about both of my children. I read a post today by someone who is leaving her daughter that she has had less then two years and going to meet and bring home another. The feelings she expressed were very similar to my own.

So I have been emotional..crying..telling myself to quit and focus on the joys of my life. My daughter I do believe, we are leaving behind..she so wants to go with! She has treatments to do..kinda mistake proof to do..but what happens if she sounds "funny"? Will my family know if she sounds funny..to up her treatments? She comes with a "backpack" of medical things. My parents are most likely the ones who will watch her because my mom can juggle her work schedule and my dad is home.

My sister is literally five minutes away..so that helps a lot. As I write this my heart aches..because I know on the other side of this is our son. Who does not know yet what it is to have a family..and that is what we are bringing him to. Our second child, wow..I feel like throwing up..too many emotions right now.

In my mind I am having a hard time comprehending that..finally! My sister said what if you were pregnant right now..you would still have the same issues if you were in the hospital as a high risk pregnancy. The responsibility that we are giving our family..not to mention the care of Calvin and Cooper..on top of my grandmother..oh my.

I know some families have many more children..even some with disabilities..how in the world do you do it? And listen to me, and I have a few months left. UGH!! Maybe it's the weather..it has been gloomy and COLD for June. 50's for the HIGHS and we are in the middle of the state..not up by Canada! :)

Maybe I need a plan..I have been slow at getting his room ready..I planned to have it done in a weekend, and move on to the next project..but no because I am dragging my feet. I think it is because I am scared that God is going to say no in the end and I will have put the cart ahead of the horse by decorating his room. That I think is the biggest reason. Then there is that voice that says..get it done, be ready for another beautiful gift from God! I know I need to let go and let God handle this..maybe I will hurry and finish. In the end what God chooses to do will be His will and that is what I want...

The mind of a child...

The mind of a child can be at times so cute. (sometimes mommy has a very hard time not laughing) Kristina and I were coming home from my parent's house..and we were talking about the rain that was coming down and not going up.

I was telling her how the rain was good for the flowers, trees, lakes, and grandma's garden. Then she asked if she could go outside, and I said no, it was raining. She said why? "I have jacket, and hat on." So cute..maybe not..it just was so cute to me. Then she asked when the snow would come and I said not until after Jovan comes home. Then she said in the most desperate drawn out sentence.. I neeeeeeed Jovan!! Because you see, she LOVES the snow!

Love that child to pieces!! I have been her mother 2 years and 1 day!! God is soooooooo good to me!

Today is...

Two BIG things... I became a mother for the first time and it is Kristina's "gotcha" day! She is my first child! (my hubby's too!) And what a gift from God, she truly is! I am taking time while she is doing her treatments, to just post a little.

I can still remember life before becoming Kristina's mother. Dan and I lived life..had(ve) a very happy marriage, did and traveled many places. But since becoming a parent..what a change of pace! :)

My dream to be a mother has been since around age FIVE! A very LONG, LONG time! :) I became a mother twelve days before my forty-ith birthday. What a gift! What a blessing!

Yesterday almost brought tears to me eyes. Well maybe my eyes were a little moist. My daughter and I were watching my all time favorite tv show! Eating popcorn for an afternoon snack watching Little house on the Prairie!!! That was so awesome. I'll get her hooked yet! :) Dan and I have visited many Laura Ingalls Wilder historic places! Our favorite is in Missouri!
We have been there several times. The site we would like to go is in Kansas. That is still an okay drive from MN.

Well, I was just informed that we are not going out to eat, but cooking at home and there are more people coming. So it is up to my grandmother and myself. My dad who is an awesome cook is NOT helping! Thanks Dad! :) I knew I should have picked up Cool-Whip yesterday! So, my posting must end and my party planning begin. YIKES!

Friends...

According to the Webster's dictionary: a person whom one knows well and is fond of: an ally, supporter or sympathizer.

Who do you know that falls under that category for you. Are your lines loose and anyone that is breathing a friend? Would you consider a co-worker a friend? How about someone who isn't like you? Or how about a person that just is in the same group as you? For example.. a church group, sports team, knitting circle (don't even know if there are anymore of those out there) :)

You get my meaning. For me it is people that I know very well, and some I have only emailed, people at church, even people that are employees at Super Target. :) So, my lines for friendship are a little wider then others..

I have people I have met just by having this blog that I would love to consider as a friend. The support, the encouragement, the tears, the prayers, the laughter, even the sadness we go through. We do it together.

When I think of my on-line friends, they are people that I pray for often! A lot of them are adopting right now..or have come home with a new family member. My heart aches and rejoices right along with them!

And of course I can't forget those who I have met and have known for a little time or a LONG LONG time (hum, wonder who I am talking about? J) My heart has room for all kinds of friends! I had an online friend (and one I have talked on the phone with) help me with a huge part..my bank was having trouble wiring money and she gave me her info that she used.. How awesome was that!! To me that was HUGE!!! And I am so thankful!

There is a website that sells these cute little cards. They are called Quip Cards. But, they are not your same old cards..these are like a business size card. There is a picture on them with a little quip. Something funny, encouraging, a reminder, just because..all kinds of reasons. The kids section is great too! What a way to motivate, encourge and remind. Kristina loves them even though she can't read yet! The reason they are special is that you can put them anywhere. My husband has one that he LOVES..and holds tight! They can go in a lunch box, brief case, visor, book, on a co-workers desk, even straight in a hand. I am getting some to pass out at church.. It's a thrill, not only because they are so cute and small, it's always unsuspected. What a thrill!!! What a rush!! What a great way to show a form of friendship! (Okay, so there are some with a little romance behind them!) hee hee

Check it out.. http://www.cardsforanymoment.com/ I have a button on the side of my blog as well. And remember and be thankful for the friends you have!!

Continuing with the dentist and beyond...

When I told Kristina that we were going to the dentist..she got all excited until I told her that it was my turn. She said NO, it was her turn. It was so cute. When we got there, she jumped right in the seat.

She was NOT happy and sat outside the doorway for a little while. Then she came and watched the rest of the time. My teeth were beautiful! And I got a new toothbrush! :) Oh, I had a little pain..sensitivity..so one tooth did hurt! So I got a pencil too! :)

I can't remember if it was that night or the next one. Kristina got to play dentist with her own teeth.

Here are pictures that tell the story. We have a couple more to go..the new teeth are coming in behind the baby teeth.

We have been doing some more wiggling with the other teeth. Can't wait for that to happen!