Feelings...

I have many more of those then someone should be allowed! Don't get me wrong...they are good and not so good feelings..life is happening all around. My pep is a little low. Not pep..just maybe my get up and go has gone away. It somehow doesn't feel like I am 100% better since bringing home my cold-thingy. So, everything seems just off slightly...

There are many things going on with my children. They are learning, happy, playful, excited to have each other for siblings. Some ways they are like other children..and someways not quite. Kristina is having a little trouble with some things in class. We have been doing research and trying to figure out just what will boost her in the right direction. I told hubby last night that maybe she is frustrated because she may not quite get things and yet sees that the other children do..wanting to "get" it and just can't...makes me both sad and determined to help her!! That has been on my mind and heart for some time now..I am somewhat frustrated not knowing exactly where to turn.

With my new little boy, his right now are medical. A very LONG list of things to check...oh, my. Yesterday was a long doctor appointment..xrays, shots, specialist appointments, and a step by step plan of care. He cried during the xrays..oh how I felt bad!! Then the shots came..I cried harder then he did!! My heart just hurt!!! But, then it was over..he did really well considering shots hurt!!! So about every other week up until a few days before Christmas he and I will go to his appointments..together..my son and I.

Something is bothering me...I have not told anyone..can't quite get a grip on it. Am I nuts that I don't see my son's differences? I mean I see that he struggles a bit to get what he wants..but he is just perfect! That is just him..my little gift from God (with a little spunk!!) The day that I put him in Sunday school..I never thought about how he might impact the class..with his differences and his newness. I just felt so at ease.. Later that week I got a call from church about him and wanting to find his perfect fit..and to sit with him for a couple of weeks to see where that is. Somehow that triggered a button. My son will have to overcome that his whole life. I knew in my mind that he would..but this was so real, like in my face. On one hand it makes me sad..then it makes me determined to get/do what it takes to make him as successful as he wants to be.

My son, the one I waited for two and a half years for!! A long time..not knowing for sure that he would be my son in my arms or just in my heart. Well, I can tell you..he is in my arms!! He is such a spark..he has a smile that just lights up a room. He knows who is mama is..and really wants her! He can say words in English, use a potty, eat with a spoon, fork, and knife like a pro! Get in and out of his captains bed. Get in and out of my SUV. Up and down stairs are a breeze! He can get dressed and put on his shoes..and many more things!!

I have been his mother for one month!! Seems like just yesterday..and other times it seems like forever!! It is amazing to see him sit right in front of me..and he is here! HOME!!! God answered my prayers!! I always prayed for a family for him..and now he has one!! In my arms!!

Now, I am feeling better..a peace, an excitement, a joy..thanks for listening!