Jovan...

Just a quick something about my little Jovan. I was talking to my grandmother today and I told her that Jovan wasn't going to come home to us. And she got really serious and said why? And before I could answer she asked if someone taken him, and then she asked who took him. I told her that the country stopped the adoptions. We do not know if we will be allowed to make him our son and and a brother. Prayers are still going out to God!! Not only about us, but the other families who were closer to bringing their children home!

God is still in control of what will happen...he knows the time and if we can. We still want him forever and ever to be our little boy. And like I have said before..I am also praying for a family, if it isn't to be us! I so want him to have a mommy and daddy to hug and love him! Sometimes it's hard not to feel a little twinge of sadness in my heart for him!

Looking back at the first time I knew of him...he was sitting in a walker eating a cookie. He reached up to me and I wanted to scoop him in my arms. His smile just really lights up the room! He did not speak...just a soft little laugh/giggle. We would see him from time to time...he was scooting on the floor one day and that was the day I picked him up and held him. That was the moment I was in love. His heart literally touched mine..we were connected. I held him tight and told him that God loved him...and I sang to him and hugged him some more! One day I was allowed to take him outside when Kristina went out. Dan pushed our daughter and I pushed Jovan in the swings. Then Jovan and I sat on the grass and he had the funniest look on his face..then he started to roll and scoot around, he laughed and squealed!! We let the kids go down the slides. It was a good time had by all!

We so wanted to take him home with us!! At the end it was very hard to leave him..I cried for months afterwards! When we took Kristina home and left Jovan, it was like leaving part of our family. Sappy I know, but it was how we felt! Sometimes, I wish I could tell the government how we feel...so that they know how much he is loved and wanted by a family. We of course are very thankful that we were allowed to get our daughter and bring her home forever!!