SNOW...

Oh my goodness, SNOW! My hubby snowplowed before he went to work and now again when he got home. Thank goodness it is that beautiful, shiny, fluffy, light snow. I went out to shovel the steps...and put down a little salt. The snow was calling me! I felt like Kristina and wanted to jump in. Now my little girl is making snow angels on the carpet. Desperate isn't she! :) Tomorrow is supposed to be colder..but if just her eyes are showing, then I will send her out..maybe?

I took some pictures today with all the snow..

Picture in the back yard...one of my favorite views out a kitchen window.This is another of my favorites..

Hubby with the snow blower! :) My man!

All done...Yea! (isn't he cute?) :)

His timing was perfect! Supper was done right when he was! Good man! :)

My baby girl...

I have often wondered what Kristina looked like as a baby. She was so little when we brought her home. Just had turned four. What a little peanut she was. Now, she is very much not a baby! :( Her height and weight have shot up since coming home!! Pretty soon she will be taller then me! :) I am thankful that she still loves to be held and cuddled! :)

This morning I was still in bed when she got up. I had such a hard time sleeping...praying and crying..concerned about my great uncle, so I was a wee bit tired this morning. Anyway, she came in a crawled up and asked how my heart was..put her head to my chest and listened then she said "your heart will be okay". I thanked God for her and her love that He gives her to share!

Here is a picture that I took and it so looked like a little baby swaddled in a blanket. She loves blankets and is always cuddling with them. This was too precious not to share.

Birth...Life...Death...

It sure has been a busy and emotional week. We remember this past week to mark the birth of our Lord and Savior! Came to earth as a babe..a beautiful wonderful birth. A gift from God. How exciting!!

Then there is life, what kind of life? That depends on lots of things..too many to mention. Like where you live on earth is a prime example. In the last several days, I have thought about it a LOT. What is important to me..really? Deep down inside. I am thankful for my relationship with God, and my family! That is what is important to me! Everything else doesn't matter. Nothing...not my "treasures" (cuz I know I can't take them with me!), NOTHING! (our desire to adopt Jovan is in the family category!!) Although, he truly is a treasure... :)

Death is final...the end. My great uncle was hospitalized on the twenty third. Had no clue that he would have to stay in. He just came home this afternoon. We were told that he has like seven to ten days to live. What a blow! I know that there are people out there who have lost loved ones suddenly..and some that have suffered for a long time. It can be very emotional when you know those people outside of your family...but when they are your family...uffda! He and I are especially close...kinda like grandpa/father rolled in one. We just clicked. My daughter and he are the same way. God is so good that way! Neither he nor my grandmother want to go to a nursing home. He is having care provided to him in his own home. I have cried some...but have been closed to the emotional part, because I don't think that I could get done what I need to do in such a short time span. Uffda again...what can I say...Christmas was a blur, I'll post on that later...I have a few pictures..need to remember the positive! :) And I will!

I should have also written after death..after you die and have been adopted by God. (accepted Christ as your own savior) Then you can be singing with the angels! That is how I am going to remember my great uncle..singing with the angels!

Sound and Smell...

The other day, I went out to "potty" the boys and I heard the crunch of the snow under my feet. When I came in and hung up my jacket, I smelled the cold fresh air smell! Oh, how wonderful that was!! Brought back memories of playing in the snow..sliding, building snowmen, making snow angels. Wait that was just last year... :)

It has been SO cold that we have not gone out yet to play in the snow. We slide down our "hill", it is what I call the sewer mound. Don't know what it's called..we have our own septic system. It is just enough..but we are within walking distance of a HUGE hill. This year we will have older cousins to play with..they are young so climbing up the hill will be a breeze!

Gotta go, going to visit grandma and grandpa! Everything else takes a back seat for Kristina when she gets to visit her grandparents.

Outside...

I ran a few errands in town...boy, with the sun shining it sure does a body good! Freedom...of course I had my daughter..but it felt like I had the wind blowing through my hair. Maybe, I need to get out more? :)

To be thankful that I have a daughter, a working husband, and all of the material things that I probably don't need. And to be a child of God! Of course that is the top thankful thing!

One of my errands was to our local Christian bookstore. I wanted to get those little name cards for the kids stockings. My mom thought that we would have stockings for the kids this year. My mom has never had us have stockings growing up. So we'll see what happens...

My daughter just came out of her room looking like this...I heard this jumping and went to see, and this is what came down the hallway. She absolutely LOVES horses! (where that is from, who knows) I found the horse and had to get it for her...and of course it's pink! :) It makes a galloping sound when you squeeze its ear. Kristina is such a joy...she makes a happy heart for everyone she smiles at! Especially her mommy and daddy! Daddy comes home early on Friday, so it's fun when we get the extra time with him!! Did I ever say that I love that man? :) Pretty sure I have.

Calvin Michael is whining to get held...he even made his voice go lower like he was really mad! Cute! He loves to cuddle! Then Cooper Maxwell wants attention too. Can I say our dogs are spoiled? Cooper is on the arm of the couch and Calvin is on the pillows. Kristina is bringing them up out of their room. She loves them and loves to cuddle with them as well. Better go get things in order before hubby comes home...love him!! :)

Sauerkraut...

Definition of sauerkraut is: Chopped or shredded cabbage salted and in its own juice.

Sauerkraut in German means "sour cabbage" Chinese cooks were also pickling cabbage in wine. Genghis Khan substituted salt for the wine and carried this version of sauerkraut to the edge of Eastern Europe. Many Europeans cultures believe it is good luck to eat sauerkraut on New Year's and other family celebrations. In 1776 was the first time that sauerkraut was mentioned in American English. Very popular with the Dutch settlers.

I found stats that say 2 out of 3 Americans eat in on a regular basis which comes to about 1.5 pounds a year. Germans eat about 3.74 pounds a year.

Sauerkraut is also good for you.
A one cup serving has:
32 calories
No fat or cholesterol
4 grams fiber
35% daily requirements of Vt C
102% daily requirements of Vt K
12% Iron
Plus Vt B6, foliate, calcium, potassium, and copper

There are many other facts..these are just a few I found.

You ask "why sauerkraut", well yesterday my grandmother and I finally got around to finishing our sauerkraut perogies. We made more filling. And so while working I was thinking about how long I have been eating it. My guess is at a very early age. So maybe 35 years or so. LOVE the stuff!!! Can eat it right out of the bag, hot or cold, with onions or not, on a brat, with fried potatoes, and now my favorite is eating it with my scrambled eggs. Yummmy!!

When preparing sauerkraut for the perogies, you have to boil it to make it soft. Then it gets cut up, cooked with some onions salt and pepper. And you're ready to make the dough and stuff them. Here is a picture I found online. Doesn't that look really yummy? Oh, Kristina like it too. She has been eating it since coming home to the US. I doubt that they fed it to the kids in the orphanage. :) Well, she is ready to start the day...and I am going to eat some with my eggs!! :)

Glad I posted, hee hee

Forgot to say I love sausage pizza with sauerkraut! I think that there are lots of people that like sauerkraut on their pizza. I thoroughly enjoyed my scrambled eggs and sauerkraut! :)

Something to think about...

I was thinking about this the other day and wondered about the snow...and how much there was. And I was just amazed at the fact that they were ALL different. Everywhere and any time that it snows. Blows my mind... God made each one different, each and every one. How creative! He made all of us different too. Every man, woman and child! God is so good!! And I am sooo thankful!

Here is another thing. God gave his one and only son to die for us, so that we may live if we accept him into our hearts! Which child could you give up to do that for us? When I look at Kristina I can't even imagine giving her up. This is the season of giving..Jesus was born and we celebrate his birth! He has a birthday..and His purpose in life was to die for us. Heavy thinking, I know but it is important to think about. Doesn't matter who you are, where you live, how much money you have, how educated you are, how many kids you have, how many treasures you have, (after all you can't take it with you when you die), how you have acted or what you have done in life, (good or bad), and many more...

In the Bible in my study notes I found this. John means "the Lord is gracious", and Jesus means the Lord saves"Both names were given by God, not chosen by human parents. Throughout the Bible God acts graciously to save His people. He will not withhold salvation from anyone who sincerely comes to Him. Pretty powerful stuff.

For me I in awe of how God does things. God answers prayer in His own way and His own time. And He just is.. I love Him for that...He takes care of me and loves me. Cool Beans....

Just a little something...

I was thinking about John last night and this morning. It is a little emotional as I know other families have heard that if they are committed they can continue to adopt. Which don't get me wrong, I am SO very much thankful to God for that!!!! But, the human side just has a harder time then the much bigger side just is waiting and having faith. Maybe not so much nervous, but praying that I will be able to grasp the peace that God will offer to me. I sound so much like a person with a tiny amount of faith. I don't mean to, but I have my days.

We have not yet heard specifically about our adoption of our son...he will be forever!! I pray earnestly that he will have a mommy and a papa soon!! His spirit is so strong..I pray that will continue for the rest of his life!! So, if you think of Jovan and myself say a little prayer for us...

Snow...Cold...Cookies...

First about the snow...There is about 4ish inches, not much. Well maybe a little more. And Kristina absolutely LOVES it. I could not get her in on Sunday. We missed going to church, but the roads were so icy and snow covered that we decided to stay home. My hubby had to take out the snow blower to remove the snow. He did that in the afternoon. Meanwhile, my little girl wanted to go outside in "her" snow! It was kinda cold..colder then the day before, but I let her go out. Couldn't get her in...she begged to be outside. The only thing that you could see was her eyes and I did a body check to see if she was feeling cold anywhere. She was not..so I let her out again for a little while.

We ended up going to my parents to help my dad remove the snow. He hasn't recovered fully from the big flu we all had, so we thought best to help him. Bundled up Kristina again, and headed out. She had a blast making snow angels, throwing snow at mommy and daddy. Playing with my parent's dachshund, Muffin. Then she snuck inside to see what grandma was doing. We then went home and mommy made homemade pizza. First time doing that..and it was great fun and it tasted really good for Sunday night pizza.

Next the cold...it got really cold after the snow, sleet came. The same day after we came back from my parents it got really cold! Not as cold as the states just westish from us..but cold. The dogs barely went past the door to go potty. :) And come in shivering! When the sun came up, it didn't look that cold, just a very pretty day. My husband waited for daylight after he worked on the drifted snow..to make sure he could see the road really well. It is still very cold...I do not want to venture into town (three miles away) to get a couple of things. Burrrr!

And lastly the cookies...I do not really bake. Do I Jamey? :) It just takes to long to see the end product. But I have been using my Christmas present from a couple of years ago. A big stand mixer. That makes a difference to me. Like having a helper. I love making spritz cookies however!! And I need to make rosettes..my grandmother's always made those and now since I am learning all of her secrets, I needed to learn that as well. We do a traditional Ukrainian Christmas. And of course we have to have lefse(sp) for my hubby and his Norwegian heritage. We do NOT have leutifisk(sp) though!! Tried it once and thought I died afterwards!!! So today we will make some cookies and bars. I have a cookbook that uses cake mixes for cookies. (yes, I need all the help I can get!) And also I have the cold in a package sugar cookies...have several recipes using those as well! :)

I need to get breakfast as my daughter is almost done with her treatment...that usually taked almost an hour, but this morning she is watching her favorite..the Doodlebops! :)

My Second Butterfly...

I think and pray everyday, many many times a day for him. He is growing up without a mother and a papa! God has him, I know and that is the best place to be! But, he does not have a mommy and a papa to call his own.

To me to have a son would be so wonderful...mommy's little boy. First of all to teach him about God and His son! Then to teach him to be a loving, kind, and generous person. To allow him to grow and play outside of an orphanage. Please understand that where he is at is a fine place, they take good care of the children..

Sometimes, I get discouraged..trying not to give up hope to be allowed to get him. It just feels like he is ours and he has gone away for way too long. Like summer camp.. My heart hurt again the other day very, very much!! I told my mom that he needed to come home now, it's been too long. God is in control, and His will be done...we will wait patiently..

My First Butterfly...

I am going to blog about my beautiful daughter! She is amazing! Yesterday I was so overcome with love and happiness that God blessed her with us that I cried! My heart was so full of love, it was amazing! She is so kind and loving to people. Her smile lights up the room, her giggle fills it up! Gentleness is also part of her. Of course she is five and she also is learning to be disciplined as well. :) Her spirit is strong.. as are her muscles! :)

The other day she brought laundry up a flight of stairs from the laundry room. She did that without me telling/asking her to. That is where her muscles come in handy. :) She sets the table, clears the table, loads the dishwasher, and can make her own toast. Vacuuming is something that she loves to do. She says "I got it, I got it" when I try. And she cleans her room and makes her bed. I don't know if that is typical for a five year old or not?

By the way, I don't want to sound like I am bragging, boasting or anything like that! I am just so awed by her willingness and love to help me that it makes me cry! But, on the other hand I think that it is okay that she does some things..because she is learning to be responsible. She does not "work" of course everyday..

What things my daughter loves, to play house, color, play in any water, doing school, playing with the dogs, riding her bike, digging in dirt, swinging of course! Many others but those are her favorites! I missed shoveling snow and playing in it. She played outside for two hours! It was almost thirty-seven degrees out. So it was warm out..

She was helping her Papa, shoveling her own snow, and still smiling big for the camera! She really knows how, she started last year. She cried one day when I went out to shovel. Come to find out that she really wanted to help! So we got her ready and it was like she had shoveled before. And she really did a good job! When it snows, she calls it her snow! "My snow, my snow".

Of course, none of this would be possible with out the blessing of God! When we were in the process of getting Kristina, it was very hard to wait patiently!! I was going to be a mother for the first time!! And to do it by international adoption, wow what a delivery! :) We almost didn't make it home..but by God's grace we did! And we are SO thankful for that! And everyday!

I do hope and pray that she gets her sibling to add to her spirit of love! Someone to play with, swim with, play in the dirt, color with, swim with, and do all kinds of things together! But, I know that is only possible with God..

ICK...

That describes our week since Sunday after church. Up to that it was fine. Kristina had her cousins to play with. One is thirteen...and such a wonderful boy! He allowed Kristina to play house with him...it was cute. Her other cousin who is sixteen months old..stayed for the weekend. They played "hockey"! They both love it and my nephew has a little tiny hockey stick and he really can use it.

Well, after church I really wasn't feeling to good...kinda icky. I fed everyone and told Dan that I had to go lay down. I stayed there until Tuesday afternoon. The flu hit me HARD!! Then my hubby who took such good care of me..got sick. My mom had come over to help out and now she and my dad are sick. My grandmother also has the flu...having a hard time with it. She has already gone to the ER once. Praying that she gets better SOON! And PRAISE GOD that my baby girl did NOT get sick! I am so thankful that she is healthy!

I can not believe that all these days have passed without me even knowing what has been going on. And trust me..sometimes I didn't even care. :( But, I am finally feeling better..wanted to finish decorating after church..but nope, now I am finishing up. Baking cookies and such for the holidays. Spritz cookies are some favorites that I make. We make rosettes too. Oh my, we will have a perogie making weekend starting Saturday morning! Early! Fun!

While I was ill, I thought about people that I have ever met in my life..and the impact that those people had on my life. It's amazing to think about that..

I was reading some other people's journeys to get their children, and found out that some are going to be able to continue their adoptions! I am so happy and thank God for that!! He deserves the credit and the glory for that to be done. I do not know the future of our little John, but I know that he will always and forever in my heart! Faith is key when you trust God totally and completely! I too wish for a miracle for my little boy. Sometimes , he feels like he is here..hiding from me. :) About eight? months ago I had a dream that I saw Kristina and John as teenagers together. I could go on and on about that boy...such a hold he has on my heart! I have put up pictures by our bedroom..our family...

The plaque says FAITH is not thinking God can, but knowing He will. We don't know when..God's timing. Keep praying and have peace that God is in control.

Jovan...

Just a quick something about my little Jovan. I was talking to my grandmother today and I told her that Jovan wasn't going to come home to us. And she got really serious and said why? And before I could answer she asked if someone taken him, and then she asked who took him. I told her that the country stopped the adoptions. We do not know if we will be allowed to make him our son and and a brother. Prayers are still going out to God!! Not only about us, but the other families who were closer to bringing their children home!

God is still in control of what will happen...he knows the time and if we can. We still want him forever and ever to be our little boy. And like I have said before..I am also praying for a family, if it isn't to be us! I so want him to have a mommy and daddy to hug and love him! Sometimes it's hard not to feel a little twinge of sadness in my heart for him!

Looking back at the first time I knew of him...he was sitting in a walker eating a cookie. He reached up to me and I wanted to scoop him in my arms. His smile just really lights up the room! He did not speak...just a soft little laugh/giggle. We would see him from time to time...he was scooting on the floor one day and that was the day I picked him up and held him. That was the moment I was in love. His heart literally touched mine..we were connected. I held him tight and told him that God loved him...and I sang to him and hugged him some more! One day I was allowed to take him outside when Kristina went out. Dan pushed our daughter and I pushed Jovan in the swings. Then Jovan and I sat on the grass and he had the funniest look on his face..then he started to roll and scoot around, he laughed and squealed!! We let the kids go down the slides. It was a good time had by all!

We so wanted to take him home with us!! At the end it was very hard to leave him..I cried for months afterwards! When we took Kristina home and left Jovan, it was like leaving part of our family. Sappy I know, but it was how we felt! Sometimes, I wish I could tell the government how we feel...so that they know how much he is loved and wanted by a family. We of course are very thankful that we were allowed to get our daughter and bring her home forever!!

My Daughter...

I thought I would blog about my daughter Kristina Faith. She is amazing!! The other morning, I had gotten up really early and just had laid down again and dozed off. Kristina came in my room climbed in bed and slipped her arm over my shoulder and said "I love you more mom". I am her mother. Will I ever get used to that? I don't know...but I am loving it!

To be a mom to me is...someone who loves unconditionally, teaches values and respect, inspires, laughs, cries, and best of all teach about God!! (oh, and teaches to clean up after ones self!) :) God blessed me with a beautiful daughter..not just on the outside, but on the inside as well! She is kind, thoughtful, caring, funny, creative, smart, and just plain lovable!! I love the fact that she can pick things up with her toes like I can. (hubby HATES that fact!) :) Food that just her papa and she like...And loves to copy her papa in most everything else!

I will never forget the day that we met Kristina's birth mom. The "butterflies" in my stomach almost made me sick. When we came to the orphanage, she was outside pushing her in a swing. I went over and said hi. And smiled, knowing that neither one of us understood each other. We did have someone interpret when we got inside. My first thought was, God why can't it be that she can keep Kristina with her? Then I thought...I hope she will always know that Kristina will be loved and taken care of! Kristina has Cystic Fibrosis and her mother did not have the resources to provide the care she needed. We spent some time together with Kristina..then she took her to get pictures taken. My heart went to my toes for an instant..We have a picture of Kristina in her mother's arms and I am reaching for her..she didn't want to come at first and when she did she was fine. When it was time for her mother to leave, I watched her walk down the road. Her life and my life were never going to be the same. An ending and a new beginning.

It's funny, maybe not funny..just a God thing. Kristina's mother's name translated into English means snow. That is Kristina's favorite thing!! She has a snow globe and she loves to watch it snow. Every time it flurries..she wants to go out and play. I will never forget that day...and I would never change not meeting her either!!

To be blessed with this wonderful little girl is an awesome thing!!

I am her mother! A mom!

The first picture we saw of her..

While we were in Eastern Europe

This summer..

The Star....

Dan put the star on the tree..he had to cut off about five inches of the top "stick", branch, whatever. It's done he was surprised...didn't get any more decorating done. Kristina and I put a big puzzle together. About two and a half by three and a half feet, but the other side had a picture of a totally different puzzle. She basically whips through any puzzle. We shall see how she does with the one hundred piece puzzles I got her for Christmas. She loves to problem solve things like that. Mine are knots. Give me a knot and I won't move till I get it, and that even goes for the occasional jewelry knot. :)

Christmas Tree 07

Christmas Tree 08

Boy, they look really similar...I'll work more on the decorating tomorrow. I started my wreath made out of the tree branch remains. It's going to smell very nice and very much like Christmas!

I Did It!!!!!!...

Yep, I decorated it by myself!!!! Just in time, I was putting the last box away and Kristina woke up. Dan is not home yet!!! But, as you will see in the picture, I can't put the top on as we need our tallest ladder, and I can not move it myself.

It was fun to do, but lonely! Now for the rest of the house to...I'll wait for Dan and some hot chocolate! :)

Tree Stands and the Big Dipper...

Those are my latest projects! Dan and I were putting up our tree, with a brand NEW tree stand I bought on clearance last year. It was supposed to hold the tree straight with out the hassle...did NOT work. We spent 40 minutes on it. The tradition that we started with Kristina was to decorate it while she slept to surprise her in the morning. That has not happened quite yet. My mom and I drove to Walmart to get a new tree stand at ten o'clock at night! Came home and we put the tree stand on and set the tree upright and it was perfectly straight! :) Yeah!! We have not been home to decorate the tree.. Maybe tonight..or maybe I can do it while she is napping? A surprise to my hubby and my daughter? Cool beans!!

Now the Big Dipper...we live out of the "city" so we see lots of stars. We went to my parent's house for a chili supper last night. When we were driving there...it looked like we were going to drive right in it. Kinda cool!! It brought back memories as a kid. I would look up in the sky in the winter when we would go places...I thought about God and how he made each of them and they are all different. Just like the people on earth! Now that is a "wow" concept to me!

Lunch is calling for Kristina...

Time Flies.....

Wow, I can't believe it is already Saturday!! So much has gone on! I'll just give a recap of the last few days. Then you will all see how come time flies!! :)

Thanksgiving day...what a day. To reflect on being thankful on all the "things" that we have and having family close by. This year, being thankful for my family was emotional for me. I really, really thought about all the families that had family members missing! Tears were running..the loss through death, being in the hospital, and most of all the people serving in our military!! The other thought was about families that really didn't have the means for a "Thanksgiving" meal. All that we maybe take for granted?

I went over to my parent's house and started to help my dad make the meal. For the first time in my life we were eating the meal at supper time. We normally eat at noon, we have more time to visit and eat leftovers the same day. :) My dad made homemade rolls while I made the stuffing. (I have never made homemade stuffing before) Then I had to stuff Paul (the turkey gets a new name every year), and my dad and I put him in the roaster. We did green beans like he grew up with. Oh, couldn't remember after that...then I went home to make a cauliflower/broccoli salad, jello, pumpkin dessert, and peach pie. The food was really good, the stuffing was okay..a little on the moist side. Dessert was okay...the jello was really good. Love to make JELLO!!

Day after Thanksgiving...My mom and I talked about going shopping, Kohl's was one place I wanted to go. Love that store!! They opened up at 4:00am.. set my alarm for 3:30am, woke up at 2:00am!! Well, got ready to go and got there at 4:28am. Oh, my goodness the store was PACKED!!!!! We shopped around together, then one of had to stay in the checkout line as it went around the store. During that trip we got almost everything we needed to get. But, now as I write this she and I are completely done! :) Now, comes the dreaded!!!! dreaded!!!!, wrapping of the presents!!! We stood in line for an extremely LONG time. We did make a trip to Target for household stuff and a bite to eat. By the time we got home we were dead!!

I made lunch (turkey leftovers) and Kristina went down for a nap. My time to snooze on the couch for a few minutes. Then it was off to the tree farm to cut the tree. Last year we got the tree right away. This year it took awhile...lets just say that someone in our family was very tired and went right to sleep. We had some other leftovers other then turkey. :) Dan and I watched tv..I think? My eyes wouldn't stay opened!

Christmas Tree cutting 07

Christmas Tree cutting 08

Two days after Thanksgiving...I got a bee in my bonnet and started to clean out closets and cupboards! Why? Don't ask me! I was like a mad woman out of her mind! I went through Kristina's dresser and EVERYTHING in her closet. Then it was off to the bathroom, and laundry room. Then did the general Saturday cleaning...We then had to make a trip to Target to get a new tp holder and new boots for Kristina to match her new jacket and snow pants I bought yesterday. (her boots are getting on the smaller side...so she really needs new ones) :) Made supper with some Thanksgiving leftovers...no turkey! Tonight we set up the tree so it will be a surprise. There would have NO way that we could have done it last night!!

Sunday...After church we are going to a heritage type festival at a Ukrainian hall. They have performers from all over Europe..and food. It will be a nice kick off to the Christmas season!! Can't wait to see it!! The last time I went I was a pre-teen! Then after we check that out, we are going to my great uncle's and set up his tree. He has one of those old fashioned tree..kinda brings back so many memories of childhood. Of course it's PIZZA night! :)

Boys...

I just felt like saying little boys with snails and puppy dog tails!! Can I have one? :) Thought and prayed a lot for John today. Just missed him!

Today, I re-found verses in Jeremiah, 29:11-13. (NIV) For, I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.

Basically that was told to the captives in Babylon. They were to carry on with their lives even though they were in exile...God did not forget them. He had plans to give them a new beginning!! How awesome is that!!

Today, I am not in exile...don't know the plans that God has for me (or John), but I will continue to pray and seek Him and find Him!! God has John!! I have God! John has us! So, we are already really together! :)

Where did they go?....

Perogies, that is. Today Kristina dug in the freezer...never has done that before and was looking for lunch. She pulled out perogies. A little while later while I was putting stuff away out of the kitchen, she comes to me with another bag. Now mind you, she has never gone in the freezer...and the second round was about twenty minutes after she finished eating the first time.

She said "please more", how can I say no to that? :) And I made more. All together she ate sixteen!! They were homemade, so they are not that big. But my goodness!! Sometimes its like she gets a bee in her bonnet and just chows like some football player! Now, when she wakes up in the morning...she will have grown 10 inches with all that food!! :)

This was a few weeks ago. She had a blast!! Those are just a tad bigger then the ones she ate today. Next week we start making them for Christmas Eve dinner. Our family does a traditional Ukrainian Christmas meal. Has been that way for all of my years of living!! We make some with potato and some with sauerkraut!! YUMMMY!!! Guess which ones are my favorite? Yep, the sauerkraut ones!!!

It's treatment time and she wants to watch her favorite movie (at least this week). The Lion King...she roars and has a blast!

God's beauty.....

God's beauty is all around us!!! I found some of these pictures the other day. They reminded me of God's awesome power! He can do anything!!

These are different pictures of our backyard...everyday, all day long there is something different to see! Magnificent works of art!!!

This is looking out our front door one evening...pretty in pink!!
There was a double rainbow over our house several weeks ago. It was the most incredible sight to see. Unfortunately, you can barely see just one of them. Dan and I saw a double rainbow on our honeymoon (18 years, 6 months, and 11 days ago). I love that man!! :)

Never Again!!!

I will never again wait this long to shop for a holiday!!! Sorry James, went to Super Target and was able to get almost everything!! But, still had to stop again and finish.

This is the first year that we were not ready...So, Kristina and mommy went out and got our fixin's. The people were EVERYWHERE!!! Three deep in the grocery isle!! UGH!!! Got our turkey though!! And enough to have leftovers too! :) I love turkey!

It was a memory that I will have...and will not repeat! :) I told the cashier that I was so thankful that we were able to get groceries for Thanksgiving...

Being thankful is what life is all about!! Or should be!! But more on that another day...

Tomorrow is prep for Thursday. Sauerkraut!!! Yum!!!!!! And cutting celery, carrots, making the easy can be made ahead dishes...

Honesty....

To be quite honest, I was so sad that my heart actually hurt! Being me, I cried off and on after we got the email on Friday. Did my quiet time before I went to bed..and was feeling much better about the adoption. When I woke up on Saturday is when it hurt the worst..scared me because I thought that I was getting a peace. A peace that I had asked God for.

God, of course had a different road for me to go...lessons to learn, and His talking to me, so to speak. I went through Saturday with the pain. I even had trouble YELLING during my nephew's hockey game. Love doing that!! The lessons that I was to learn started to come after that...I was eager to learn and know about God and His plan..

Where was my trust? Not just the wishing for my son, hoping that God would change my answer to yes..Trust no matter what. I prayed for God's will...and that is what I have right now at this moment. And I have the peace that I asked God for... Thank you God!

In my mind, I wrote this so much more eloquently then I am right now... I grew so much and learned so much about God during our first adoption. The waiting and trusting I thought I knew pretty well. During this adoption, I was so caught up in saying "if it's God's will" that I forgot the meaning of what I was asking. There are/were verses that I was reading and clinging to, but thinking that was the lesson to learn. No sweat..but in my quest to "fear" God I blocked off any other lessons that I was supposed to learn. I did not multi-task in my mind and heart. My understanding of fearing God, is to get to know Him better...like a reverence to Him.

And I did think, how could God bring this little boy to me, one that I fell in love with and truly thought he was somehow going to be a part of our family? I met him, held him, kissed him, laughed with him, prayed over him, took him to play outside, sang to him, and best of all fell in love with him!! That is when it hit me that people ALL over the world lose children that they have done those same things to. That was reality. It unfortunately is not just me that it happens to.

Best of all...I am learning so much about my relationship with God. It's all about Him. God is huge...He can take care of Jovan. No matter what God's will is up until the end of his life.. I will not stop praying for him, ever! I will continue to pray for the government ...and for the other families that are adopting. It is my hope and pray that they will continue and children will come to have families!

My mother like I said just thinks this is a pause...what ever it is...it has giving me a new lease on life...I have a daughter that needs me, a husband that needs me, and my God that needs and wants me and I need my God most of all! Psalms 33 is a book that I have read during this adoption. Romans 5:3-5, and there are many more.

My little girl is outside in the garage playing "hockey". My nephew played hockey with her last night after his game. We bought her a stick at a thrift store... She was on top of the world! I think she is going to be an athlete! :) Mind you it is cold in the garage...like mid 20's. She is out there... oh, I have pictures from the hockey game...

Watching Emmanuel play!! She is glued to the glass!!

A smile for mommy!! Happy little girl!!

We have lots of fun!! Thank you for ALL the encouraging words and prayers! That is so awesome that people I know in person and people that I have met online..pray together! LOVE IT!!! :)

Trust in the Lord...

Yes, that is what we must do! We got an e-mail yesterday and right now Jovan's country is no longer doing International adoptions. Figuring out different ways to do them. It was so sudden, that I had to re-read the e-mail a few times.

God is in control! I have been praying for the government for two years now. And I will continue to pray...there are many families that are in the process of adopting from Serbia right now. Join with me and pray for them and their children...God has a plan, unknown to us..to do what is right and in His timing. That could mean a lot of things...

My mother called this a "pause". A moment in time. And with that I must go..

Three months and three days...

I can NOT believe how time flies!! A few posts ago I said the same thing! But it is true! Next week we get our tree...then only one month and a smidge it will be 2009. My goodness!! I think the older I get the faster time goes? Maybe. Or having a daughter makes it go by faster? :)

In some ways it really feels like it was a few months ago that we brought Kristina home! And we met John at the same time! Love that boy! I have praying for him...like constantly!! He is so close to my heart...and growing like I thought he would, and have been praying for. God knows my heart...

People from our church went out to start a mission to help troubled marriages. Like a retreat type place with counseling. Anyway, they had just built there barn with the church youth group helping just a few months ago. There was an explosion of a propane tank..while it was being changed. Knocked our friend like ten feet away and then the barn burned with almost ALL of their personal possessions inside. They are sleeping in a tiny cabin..and used the barn as an office and a play area for their kids. We saw pictures of the aftermath. Everything was gone. Charred pictures of their wedding pictures..beds, lawn furniture, cd's, books, toys...everything.

I left church with the thought of that...could I leave my stuff behind? And I can honestly say, yes! Stuff doesn't matter...it's the people and my relationship with God that truly matters! So, with that being said..if you could remember them in your prayers that would be great!! And now I am off to de-clutter some more cupboards and such! Getting ready for Christmas...

Hot Dish...

My poor daughter!! We were eating supper the other night..she knows what "hot" means, and she knows what "dish" means...so imagine the look on her face when I asked her to eat her hot dish. I usually name the food, instead of saying things like that. But, it was a slip. We explained what it was...it really was funny.

I think that the English language has to be harder then any other one? Maybe? But, she is learning and talking...some words that she has had trouble with in the past, are coming out of her mouth like nothing was ever an issue. :) It's so fun.

Better go, laundry is calling. Dinner is made and I need to make some banana bread.

Jovan...

I am adding some more pictures of Jovan. I have been printing and playing with them. These are some of our favorites! He has gotten so big! I am glad, and he looks really good!! :)

Don't ya just want to reach out and grab him!! I know I do!! It has been three months today since saying that we are commited to him! Time is flying so fast... I am getting ideas together for Christmas..they keep popping in my head! Daddy is getting a special one, but don't tell!

Better go...we are hooked on Dancing with the Stars! :)

Attitude effects the Gratitude...

How's that for a saying? A great friend of mine told me that this morning. Her niece learned that saying in Sunday school yesterday. That is like the theme of Thanksgiving...being thankful and grateful! Just think about all of the things you are grateful for...is that better or the same as being thankful?

Today is Monday...even though I am thankful get to stay home, Monday's are hard for me. Or at least sometimes. Maybe because Dan goes back to work..we have to switch gears..he is so helpful!! Which I am grateful for! Kristina can't get enough when he is home! She is glued to him..and he does her CF treatments, because she doesn't want me to help when Papa is home! :)

Did you notice that in my last paragraph I used the words thankful and grateful? :) I love that saying...maybe I will make a wood board with that saying and hang it somewhere in my house!
Calvin is whining and begging for a treat!! He is SO spoiled!! But love him to pieces!! He gave up on me!

I am grateful and thankful for my family!

Being Thankful...

November also has Thanksgiving in it...I am working on a new tradition. But I have been for weeks thinking about ALL the things I am thankful for! There are many that happened just recently.

My daughter is also something (a person, not a something) that I am thankful for!!! I added one of her pictures as well. Daddy calls that hairstyle "the palm tree", but I think it is cute!!

This Thanksgiving I am going to look up a lot of verses on being thankful. Then...go around the table and have people list off ten things that they are thankful for! Can't wait to hear what people say!! And we are being out of the box and are straying from our tradition that I have had my WHOLE life. (remember, I am old! ) :) So, we will see how that goes. And in twelve days we get our Christmas tree!!!

Off to my mom and dad's...I love that and am so thankful they are close and I am loved!

Flashes...two of them...

To start... I am old! How do I put this???? I think that I had my first "hot flash" yesterday. Freaked me out!!! When I asked my mom about them..she laughed so hard she almost fell out of her chair!! So, now what? Maybe, I should start counting backwards? :) Hope that was my first and LAST one!! I'll keep ya posted on that one!

Second flash was the Space Shuttle went up last night! Yes, we all watched it! Daddy is a HUGE NASA fan!! Explaining every detail! So, I got to see how I felt!! The solid rocket boosters were a glow with fire! Just like me!!!

That pretty much sums up yesterday...

Ode to my hubby...again

He is so awesome!! I love him very much..not for what he does, but for who he is! When he comes home from work and he is gone 12 hours a day..he always asks me what can he help me with. Those words almost mean as much as I love you~! We have been married 18 years, 6 months and 8 days!! WaHoooo

Tonight Kristina had her eye check-up. I really hurt my back this afternoon..and it is not better...have to shift positions often! So, I wasn't up to going. (And SuperTarget was also on our list to do!) He took her by himself! I know that dads do that all the time...but this is his FIRST time. I take her to her ped appointments and we go to her CF appointments together. So this is a biggie! :) Love him!!

Don't tell, but tomorrow I will be making one of his top most favorite desserts! I just got the recipe! Thanks Nicole!! :) Jamey, I think you made something like this too. Remember the burned smell in the microwave? :) hee hee Friday's he is done early... Did I say I love him? God was so awesome to give me such a gift! Every now and then we have a little tiff, but who doesn't? We just try harder to communicate...and learn from our tiffs! :)

Maybe , it's just me...but isn't he a cutie pie! I know it is a lot of mush...but don't you get excited about gifts? My never gets old..everyday there is something new! LOVE IT!! :) Well, better get to that heating pad..

November....

November is National Adoption Month. I was thinking about all the orphans awaiting adoption...and it occurred to me that there are all kinds of adoptions. "Healthy", Special Needs, Open, ..sure there are more. And for the people adopting..there are all kinds of parents! For some adoptions I do not believe I could do with out God's help!! So I am thankful that there are people that follow there heart/God and adopt!

Still sometimes I can't believe that I am a mom! And I had to cross the ocean to get her! I think if we had the funds coming out of our pockets...we would love to adopt more kids. After John of course. Just thought, if it is God's will..and it is His plan we really could! Wow...I have always wanted four kids. Both hubby and I grew up in a four kid household. And I like the number six..but seven is my favorite number. ? :) It's a good thing I am not driving the bus!

Search your hearts...maybe you are sitting on the fence or never even thought about adopting..just look, just maybe there is a child for you! There are many adoption agencies and websites that can help you. And pray, best of all pray! :)

SNOW....

Well, we have snow on the ground now! Now mind you we can still see some grass..but hey, it stuck to the ground! My darling little daughter immediately wanted to go outside the minute it was snowing. I went to the doctor again because I was NOT getting any better. Still bronchitis and now a sinus infection! ICKY! At least I know it's not in my head! :) I am sick not crazy! :)

In order to save money we try to not have me go anywhere..so I don't drive to often. Actually, glad about that! :) It was snowing and sleeting on the way home. I did not panic, I drove very slow...and thankfully so were a lot of other people! We made it home! Thank you God!

Kristina getting snowed on yesterday! She was outside for about a half an hour!! She went swinging and had a blast!! First thing this morning, "Can I go outside mommy". Maybe we should start building her an igloo! :) We tried to put on her play boots that she just fit into about a month ago..didn't fit! So she went out with her good boots...what a sacrifice! :)

We tried to rearrange our living room..to decide if we wanted to change the Christmas tree placement this year. Didn't work. She has asked for that already too! That is the day after Thanksgiving. Daddy always has the day after off!! So we decided we like the idea of having it done that day, instead of "shopping"! :) Down the road...eight miles is a tree farm! We cut it ourselves! They have a little store and beautiful trees! It was a blast!!

I have an idea for homemade Christmas presents..think I will try it out!! :) Actually two ideas..can't wait! Better get on that..

Monday...

We heard that Jovan's Center has still not added him to the Central registry yet. They are very busy. It was nice to hear that he has not been forgotten! :) It was nice to get that little note! Trying not to get excited...very hard!

I am trying to get his "room" together..as inexpensively as I can. Kinda a hobby of mine. Getting ideas from places like Pottery Barn and such. It's fun..things come together and I get more ideas..and then hunt for them!! I did however buy a new pillow sham at a thrift store..and come to find out that it is the current Target boys line. Cool beans!!

So we will continue to wait...and use the "p" word. Patiently as well as I can! :)

Puffs or Kleenex?...

Just thought I would just compare the two. First of all nose tissues are now expensive!! My goodness! I about fell off my feet when I saw the two dollar price increase.

1. Puffs are very soft! Even with out the lotion added! Very nice for a sore nose.

1. Kleenex are not quite a soft..but better then a store brand.

2. Puffs come in so many different packages...

2. Kleenex not so many to choose from to match room decor.

3. Most important..Puffs is hard to pull out of the box..especially for K to get to fast and cough cough cough!

3. Most important..Kleenex is easier to pull out!

So in our household...Kleenex rules! :)

Trying to be upbeat...while going through so much nose tissue...that would be kleenex!

This is deer season opening weekend. Getting used to the huge sounding gunshots around us. Hunting is not something that I am interested in. Sitting, waiting, wanting, wishing...in the cold, rain, snow. No thanks! Outside right now is kinda blah..this is the in between seasons time.

A picture of part of our backyard...not a sunny day...now we are just waiting for our flurries to stick to the ground and stay..Maybe next weekend we will get the snow that Kristina wants!

An Experiment....

Today I took my grandmother and Kristina to our new Super Target!!! (Sorry James!!) I decided that we would try something different...it ended up that my grandmother went into a wheelchair and my daughter went into the cart. I pushed my grandmother with one hand..and pulled Kristina with the other. It worked! The load was heavy and we didn't stay long! :) That means I can get one of those two kid carts and still be able to take my grandmother out on field trips. Field trip sounds more exciting then just going to the store!

Right now my little girl is taking a nap...think the time change and not feeling good is not working for her. I can't wait for the day that I can say she feels great!!

No news, but I know things are busy...and I am glad for that!!! To know other families are coming together!! Cool beans!!!! I know that if it is God's will that we are allowed to go back...we are going to try and sight see a little more. There was this really cool market at the end of our street. Njegoseva was the street. You could find anything there!! Odd ball stuff to fresh meat and poultry. Oh, then there is the coolest shoe store for kids. CicciBan I wish I bought more shoes!! Too die for cute for girls!! Memories! Kinda fun!!

Well better go..do my least favorite chore, putting away clothes. I really don't like it. I would rather clean my bathroom, then do the clothes. :) But I want a clean room!! So I'd better go!

Tid-bits....

Nothing special to report...Kristina still under the weather. Bummer, along with that is not a really huge appetite. So, I have been letting her eat anything...with her CF fat is a good thing. There is no such thing as a "xtra" large person with CF. I am glad for that!

It rained this morning...and Cooper does NOT like to get wet!! Well, too bad! I literally had to drag him outside. He refused...so fine at least I won in the getting him wet department!! :) He is prone to UTI's and it is painful for him and expensive for us. Later, it was just drippy and I hauled them out again. It took just a trot across the lawn and they both did their business!! I was thrilled to death and gave them a treat to show my appreciation!!

Worked with Kristina on more school work. Colors don't stick in her head. She is going to the eye doctor for a check-up and I asked if they could screen her. No problem! Yea!

No nap today...coloring with fresh crayons much more exciting. Did an extra neb also! Now watching the PBS station. Yippee Sesame Street!! What ever happened to the Electric Company? Romper Room? Captain Kangaroo? Surely if those old programs were good enough for us...then where are they now? I don't even know if those shows were in other states or not? Just dating myself... hee hee

Can't wait for snow that is supposed to come Saturday...an inch only. Kristina has been asking for snow since it's gotten colder. Oops a chair accident. She was rocking too hard and fell backwards. My heart is now back in my chest.. We slide down our septic mound hill. Yeah, fun times! Actually that is about the hill that mommy and daddy could stand.Kristina was helping to shovel snow...she had a fit because I went out without her. Who knew she loves to shovel, and she does a great job!

Her cousin had the first run...then Kristina went for her first slide down the septic hill. :) She came in soaking wet..I had to go retrieve her before she froze to death.

Supper prep is calling me...don't have a clue? Wonder what Kristina wants to eat? She says "oatman". Not happening...maybe soup..so maybe it will be oatman...tonight will be instant microwave instead of on the stove...fridge alert..she's in the fridge..just wanted yogurt. Well mommy is making chicken tenders/tator tots/salad! She'll eat pretty sure anyway. Daddy is home..

ER....

Yes, that really means emergency room. Tonight, we ran to the grocery store and they have like a minute clinic..I just went to check her...the gal looked at Kristina without registering her to see how she was. The gal told me that if K was her daughter she would take her to the ER.

So, we did..an hour away to the Children's hospital..she was basically fine. The doc told me to call her CF doc in the morning to just double check. He gave me two prescriptions..so I have to check on those. I wish we had a oxygen tester...that would help me a lot.

God is good!!!!!!! Love Him to pieces, He just rocks and I will continue to rest in Him!! Good night! (toooo much caffeine!!!!) I hope that I can go to sleep! :)

16 Months...

We have been in love with him for 16 months!!!! Can you believe times flies? Daddy is doing dishes, so I am posting a bit! We had perogies made by my grandmother! Yummy!! Now Kristina is now eating her chocolate...wanted that more then the ice cream.

Back to our little Jovan...we are ready, can't we just run over and get him? That was my dream last night. I cried when I woke up because I was holding him and crying. Guess he is on my mind? Ya think? I hung up hooks in the bathroom..and the empty one is for Jovan. If he does not come home to my arms..then it will be for special guests.

My dear Jovan is thought about a lot. Even Kristina talks about him. Out of the blue...does that mean she thinks about him, how much. Heard the weather..snow on Saturday... Gotta go

Voted?!....

Did you vote? We did..and mommy was the 1000 voter!! WaHoooo I asked what I won? The lady laughed and said she wished it was something! :) Adoption Funds? That would have been nice. :) Of course I took pictures!!

She was the best little voter...and as quiet as a church mouse!!! My goodness!! Mommy was so happy we are celebrating with ice cream!! Her favorite!! :)

Kristina....

I just have to say..I am the luckiest mom in the world! God gave me such a gift!! She just went down for her nap..she fell right to sleep. And she is the cutest!!

Well, I may be a little biased...even though she is just sleeping, I miss her! She is still under the weather...kinda stressful, because it is wear and tear on her lungs. We have really never had to deal with her being sick. When she came to the U.S. she was VERY sick!! Then this past month..You try to protect your kids...and it's hard fight what you can't see. GERMS

She will get better, I just wish it would be soon!!!!!!

VOTE.....

Don't forget to VOTE!! Pray and go vote!

Out of the mouths of little girls...

Tonight we were sitting at the table eating our Sunday night pizza and of course I had John on the brain. It took me two times to get the number of forks right. Not being obsessive by any means..just a passing thought here and there. Kinda like is it going to rain tomorrow? Or not?

Anyway, in my own, my very own head I thought..wonder if he would like pizza...and not two minutes later out of the mouth of my own gift from God comes the words..."God, John come" then "John come" Made me cry...looking in my daughter's eyes and seeing her love for me was indescribable!!! She has NO clue that he is on my mind from time to time... We have a little video clip of him that she likes to watch every now and then.

I just thought I would share that...makes me miss him and my own daughter who is sitting behind me doing another neb treatment. I love her very much...wouldn't change the waiting time for all the money in the world!! Kinda like natural childbirth...you forget the pain afterwards...so they say. Can't imagine my life without her. What in the world did we do before she was "born"? Lots...but not quite so meaningful!

She is almost done and Calvin wants attention...so I'd better go...

2 months...2 weeks...2 days...

We have been waiting for our little boy! (actually 16 months on Tuesday) But that's okay, we will wait until God tells us we can go. Ufda! (that was for my husband) Sometimes, it's weird...like he has been here the whole time...what is that? I told my husband on the way home church...getting both of them at the same time is not really any different then getting one at a time...what if we commited to two? Or more? :)

Gotta go..Kristina is done with her treatment...now it is nap time!

Time Flies...

I can't belive it already Saturday night..where has the week gone? Could not even tell ya. It took a few days to get over the shock of the mail on Tuesday! And Kristina and hubby got sick with a cold. So we have spent the last several days trying to neb her "death". As much as we can really do it. I think she may have turned the corner? She keeps saying she is better...

We did get an email saying the we are still waiting for Jovan to be put in the Central Registry...which should be any day now. Some days I can hardly stand it, I miss him sooooo much!! Today was one of those days!! All I could think of was blue! In some ways it does not seem like it has been such long time since we have held him...that is probably God!! This process would be unbearable if we did not have God to rely on. He's waiting with us too. What we are to learn from this journey? What is God trying to teach us? LOTS!!!

Kristina did not go trick or treating...we have a hard time with the whole Halloween thing. Okay...too cute, Kristina was reading in bed before she went to sleep. She fell asleep with her pile of books and her light still on. Too cute!! Sometimes it takes me a long time to blog. Stealing a moment her an there to write. Back to Halloween...I would rather celebrate God then ick. Last year our church had like a God is greater party, and we went to that. It was a lot of fun!! Games and friends and of course candy and such!

Today we went to visit my great uncle. He is 85. It does not seem like he is that old. My grandmother is almost 90, and they are quite different. My grandmother is fragile and my great uncle still cuts his lawn and rakes his leaves. Life...no people are alike. Kristina loves to go and see him. She has the run of the place...and gets to eat chocolate. We brought some toys and leave them there, so it is like new toys for her to play with. She gets the toys that come out of the cereal he eats as well. We were there most of the day.

Well, better go..the dogs want attention since we have been gone all day. Calvin is whining and pacing to be held! See ya....

Shock...

How do you describe and explain something that literally takes your breathe away? To me it would be SHOCK!! And to be so thankful to someone that you sob? Then how do you thank a person that you do not know? All of those things happened to me today as I checked the mail.

I am talking about receiving one thousand dollars in the mail, given anonymously. I could not breathe! Because it was given that way...I wanted the person to know that we received it. And to thank them from every fiber of my being!! When I called Dan, he was also stunned..he kept repeating "no way","no way", "no way".... Then of course I called my mom...I was crying so hard she thought that something was wrong.. We prayed for that person and thanked God for them over and over.

For me that was way beyond being kind, thoughtful, generous, caring, and any and every other positive adjective there is!! No, I am not sappy...just so thankful and grateful! It was stunning for me..and I can hardly handle the envelope.

Just this morning I was thinking about raising money, and remembered about applying for grants to help out. That was in my list to do today..and God brought our first grant! :)

God works on His time...His timetable is not like American time...FAST. Well, sometimes it is. He can see the whole situation, way beyond what we can see. While wanting to adopt Kristina we had NO idea the timeline. We just kept asking God to direct our feet. Yes, we could hardly stand the wait...Her adoption took nine and a half months. My mom said that a normal pregnancy lasts nine months..did I want to deliver early? Then we were waiting for her visa...FAITH! And to be honest I have been waiting for John for a LONG time. I met him on May 23rd 2007. Held him for the first time on May 30th 2007. Then fell in love with him on June 4th 2007. That is one year, four months, and twenty-four days!! Guess, then I am a little over due! :)

My mother called to ask how I was feeling...and she said that she could not believe that the person would think enough about John to give the money. Then she said wait, that means she was going to be a grandmother again. She was so excited! As am I...but to be a mother again..how incredible!

I am going to end this by praising God!!! God is an awesome and gracious God. By the way, John's name means gracious!! Thank you again!!

Boys....

We heard news on Jovan... The Ministry officials now know we are interested in him. We expect to hear for sure in a few weeks. That is using the "p" word again. Patiently!! But that is okay with me. Jovan's Center for Social Work already knows about our intent.. Kinda feels weird...and I can't even remember these steps with Kristina..maybe because they happened so fast. Or I was in a state of shock?

I can not wait for families waiting to go very soon!! It would be so awesome in time for Christmas!! They are in my thoughts and prayers often! Isn't it exciting! So cool!

When I said boys, it was because Calvin wouldn't let me put him down. Smushing himself like glue to to me. Wanting to be held! I went to the doctor and got put on an antibiotic. Maybe he missed me? Anyway...he wants hi mommy and his mommy wants to rest...so he can smush me all he wants! :)

News...

We got an email that told us that Monday we may know something....so hard not to get excited...it is a new Ministry official, so who knows? God does!! If they say yes then I think we would be the only family that has been able to go back. I have been praying for the families that are waiting...and for God to show the Ministry officials that it is okay for everyone to adopt. It is in the best interest of the children. That has been my prayer since getting ready to adopt the first time.

I am nauseated... And a wee bit emotional.. it's like I am so close yet so far away! I have met this little boy and held him, loved on him, kissed him, laughed with him, played with him, sang to him, and thanked God for him! God's will be done!! Please let God's will be done. I have to remember that God loves him too... Shedding a few tears....